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Post by buck on Mar 15, 2013 10:09:44 GMT -5
Green Day was going through a resurgence in the mid 2000's after American Idiot came out and they would still be riding high in 2007.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2013 10:12:29 GMT -5
Fair enough then, I guess I'm showing my age a little bit. Or my musical tastes...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2013 19:16:43 GMT -5
Caught up with #2 and #3 and the comments on these issues.
The writer you may be thinking of Star is Stephen King-he talks about the idea of leaving protagonists vague enough for the reader's mind eye to see what it want sin his book On Writing.
As for this issues themselves-the overall arc is a decent introduction to the character, but after 4 issues I still have no clear idea of what the direction of the series is going to be. Arthur is a guy with powers and we see how his friends and family react to his coming out-but really what is the book about?
With Demon Knights we got a pretty clear picture of Jason, his circumstances, his history and what to expect. With Aquaman we have no such sense. The stuff that is here is well written, but I still have no clear sense of what to expect form future issues.
The other comment, and this is neither positive nor negative, but for me the vibe I get for this is very much of a CW version of a DC character. Smallville by the sea sort of. Now I liked Smallville, but I didn't love it until later seasons when it went beyond teen angst and monster of the week. This opening arc felt like teen angst and monster of the week, and because I don't have a sense of where the series if going, it's hard to be excited about future issues for fear of more of the same.
So bring on #4, bit hopefully it will give a little more definition to what the series is. I know it will be well written, it's you, but hopefully it will be a little better defined as a whole.
-M
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Post by Stardrifter on Mar 18, 2013 20:07:08 GMT -5
I can see what you mean. I'm just about done with #4 and I think the direction will be a bit clearer. It does feel a bit like Smallville right now, and that's on purpose. They are just graduating high school. The series right now is meant to set up the relationships that are going to be important once we jump to present day. And when that happends, the series, like Arthur's life, is going to take a drastic shift.
So I would say hold on for just a while. Things will pick up soon. And thanks for the review.
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Post by Stardrifter on Mar 20, 2013 13:55:19 GMT -5
#4 is up! Let me know what you think!
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Mar 23, 2013 18:37:16 GMT -5
I like it.
Has the same very consistent CW feel from before. The teenage drama is good without being heavy-handed. Selinda and Baran are not nearly as dark as Simon Jones, which I'm glad to see. Don't want things to get too dark. I love the references to both Superman and Ex Machina.
I'm having to search to find any criticism to give. I guess if anything I have a few concerns:
It's not necessarily a problem yet, but in his current state it seems like Arthur would logically require further contrived circumstances and reasons to go up against supervillains instead of doing the logical thing and running away with the rest of the characters. I'm pretty sure you've got this covered in your plans, but if Arthur's running off to fight every supervillain that shows up, it might seem unrealistically heroic (in a superhero book?! for shame!) It's a really silly concern of mine, and one I'm pretty sure you've got covered.
The other thing I'm wondering is if you eventually transition to Atlantis, whether that would be too big of a shift from the current "Smallville" tone of the series.
Either way, this is one of my favorite series on the site, so looking forward to more.
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Post by Stardrifter on Mar 24, 2013 13:19:47 GMT -5
Thanks for the comments. Atlantis isn't too far off, so the "villain of the week" deal won't be going on much longer. As for the eventual shift, well life's like that sometimes. Hopefully it won't put anyone off.
Updated the Villains section of the Secret Files.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2013 13:52:07 GMT -5
Issue 4 was a great issue. As others have said, it's very much a Smallville vibe - I never watched much of Smallville, to be honest. Some mates of mine at Uni were big fans of it, but I never got into it. Mind you, never much like Lost neither so, there we are.
While DiscipleOfBob talks about contrived circumstances for getting involved with villains, I mean basically most hero stories take place and spin on these contrived elements, so we can't, or rather, I can't necessarily blame you for that the contrived elements I'd like to see reduced it 'Forced ways for Jenna and Arthur to have continuing conversations about relationship developments but cut short by villain/friend/alien monkey God'
Not a fan of that plot device, never have been. I know there's delaying things, and pretty much 98% of X-Files was 'Will the two characters get naked and role around in a very sweaty cuddle?' but, I'd really like it if that little subplot was either wrapped up, or handled a little less like it's the central point of the series. The will they won't they thing works in TV, but I feel it's less effective in prose and comics.
Mind you, this is all one cold Englishman's opinion, so your own thoughts may vary.
I like like seeing Mammoth and Selinda actually go to work though. That was pretty cool.
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Post by Stardrifter on Mar 28, 2013 14:48:33 GMT -5
Started fixing my board. Will finish tonight. Going to see a movie now. Everyone needs to click on them to get my views back up
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Post by C_Miller on Mar 28, 2013 23:49:41 GMT -5
I just finished this issue. I loved almost everything about it. Arthur, Jenna and Brian make a good trio and they play off of each other very well. They're different enough to be their own people, but it's not entirely illogical for them to be friends. In fact, I could see their interactions as conversations between my friends.
I also really like how you're introducing the Fearsome Five. It seems very natural and organic and at this point they seem like they work well as Aquaman villains despite not being traditional Aquaman villains.
My favorite part of the issue was probably where Arthur read the mind of the dying cop. You put a lot of emotion into that and it felt real to me as the reader. Good job!
Keep it up, I look forward to more.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Mar 30, 2013 21:23:28 GMT -5
You do the interaction between Arthur, Jenna and Brian well, which is impressive. At least to me, it's much harder to do that than most other things.
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Post by Stardrifter on Apr 7, 2013 14:32:54 GMT -5
#5 is up!
Not to sound pompous, but I am really happy with how this one turned out. I hope you guys enjoy it. Let me know what you think.
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Post by C_Miller on Apr 7, 2013 14:50:37 GMT -5
Really great issue, Star. I agree that's one that you should be proud of.
The rest of the issue was fine, but the part that really stood out to me was Arthur's internal monologue as he was contemplating what he did last issue. The fact that he went to save total strangers rather than himself or his loved ones. I think that's an important part of the idea of the hero's journey that not a lot of people get and that DC Comics in general sometimes has trouble with.
At this point, I'd really like to see your title directly adapted for any future Aquaman show or film.
Keep it up.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Apr 8, 2013 8:54:50 GMT -5
I agree. You have every right to be proud of this one.
I'm still sad that you're dropping Demon Knights and this, but if it's a choice between DK and Aquaman, I'd rather have this series around all the way.
Plot was great. Everyone had awesome characterization. The only possible thing I could find wrong was the line about "been seen by a doctor" sounding really awkward, but that's a minor complaint at best.
Keep up the good work.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Apr 10, 2013 21:32:13 GMT -5
Another great issue, keep it up.
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Post by adrini on Apr 10, 2013 22:10:51 GMT -5
This is quickly becoming a favorite series. Well done.
The conversation interruption is done in general media, but for a reason. It's solid comic relief and builds suspense nicely. Plus the end was better then googly-eyes over a mall pretzel anyway.
The villains are interesting, and I liked the shock when they found Arthur had his own abilities.
On a semi-personal note the reactions to the navy are the not often talked about reality of announcing you plan to join the armed forces. We love to salute our heros, we just prefer they not be our loved ones. I was raised military. The terror that they'll get hurt and come back in a body bag is very much real.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2013 3:48:13 GMT -5
Hey Star, Another enjoyable issue. I did have a fleeting thought of 'Hey...He hasn't really done anything in the water yet.' but that was quickly replaced with the idea that perhaps chucking him in the oceans to fight Ocean Master and the Fisherman et al over and over was probably not the wisest or most original route to head down. So, yet, Landman might be a more appropriate name at the moment. Just on the subject of it, I don't know how other people feel about this, but, during the action scenes we get a lot of Arthur does this. Arthur then does this to Baran. Baran does this, and then Arthur reacts. There's a lot of repetition of names etc. I know that it might not necessarily be a major issue for others, but I find that a little bit wearing. I know sometimes you can get he and he in fights and it gets confusing because it doesn't necessarily distinguish between Baran or Aquaman, but there are ways to do that without directly naming them each time they do something. Again, this might be something that doesn't bother anyone else, so in which case, just ignore me. I'm enjoying the relationship between Selinda and Baran though. It's nice to see a family dynamic in play that isn't 'weird'. Comics always seem to amp up familiar dynamics to the point of being strange - siblings who love each other just a little too much, or parents who're willing to do the most horrendous things JUST to keep their kids safe, for example. There's not a hint of incest or any other disturbing trends from recent years in their relationship, so that's nice. I do think the element with the police questioning was wrapped up a little too easily, but, hey. I'm sure more questions will be asked at a later date. Otherwise, as ever, I enjoyed the interaction between Jenna and Arthur. Seem's like it's a legitimate relationship, with genuine feelings and actions, which puts it leaps and bounds ahead of most comic relationships of 'hey...Aquaman needs a girlfriend who can breath underwater...Mera?' So, cool issue.
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Post by buck on Apr 24, 2013 23:46:11 GMT -5
#4 and #5
I've been enjoying the slow build on the title. Glad to have a solid Aquaman title and the curse seems to be broken on the Aquaman title which is really nice.
I'm enjoying Jenna and Brian both. THough I have to say I have a bad feeling about Brian's future in the Navy. It'd be really cool though to see him end up with the Sea Devils if the ominous feeling I have regarding his future proves to be false.
I enjoyed the fight scene quite a bit loved seeing it take place on the beach and finally getting the Aqua in Aquaman. Loved the twists and turns in the fight and I thought you handled the "kill rule" in this issue.
The DEO is looming heavy over this title, I'm anticipating that paying off over the course of the title.
Keep up the good work man.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Apr 25, 2013 20:20:18 GMT -5
Given the difficulties my DK and Batman review got me... Star, you're in for a rare treat that I reserve only for my fellow Admins cause they ask me to. I'll be reviewing Aquaman from an arsehat perspective. I won't get to the good stuff until the end... It's also full of really quirky comparisons. And I have purposely avoided reading comments so that I won't care if I say the same thing.
Issues 2-5 This has a very Smallville feel to it except there's no Lana to make me want rip my hair out. There's also no Chloe to keep me interested or Lois for the T&A. (Reaction as of Issue 2)
Dialogue reads very okay... this is gonna hurt.... Well it might hurt, for both of us since it reveals that I read the Twilight saga. It's Stephanie Meyers. It's like you're trying to be hip and young but not. I feel like I'm reading some bad CW teen-drama as opposed to your Demon Knights USA, Characters Welcome style.
Psimon is the same. I need some HBO level here for him. Not friday night death spot or Saturday Morning Toon characterization. It's all very bland and Humans Suck.
A good thing the DEO came in for the fight because that fight had no tension at all. The Brick-to-Face that was Manhunter Five was one of the best things about it. (Reaction as of Issue 3)
I may not be able to remember 2007 but the dialogue is still off. You're not finding your flow. As are the interactions between your cast. Nobody is standing out, at all, not even Arthur. Maybe this would be better in a visual medium, I'm certainly using enough metaphors to describe it as such. But in the written word it's all falling flat.
The towels comment is something I'd do, not you. Most of my stories are over the top even when street level. Yours tend to be more down to Earth and you're just not finding your place in this world much like Arthur.
Does make me happy to see I was right in placing the timeline that way so that you could properly and more easily reference the World of Ultimate without people being entirely confused.
In the Navy! Joking aside, a solid moment of teenage problems at that point in their lives. The dialogue is just not there (I know I'm repeating myself, sorry) but at least in this instance you managed to portray the proper emotion for the sequence.
Mammoth and his sis are yet two more victims to "these villains aren't dynamic." And by the looks of things, if you go villain of the week... With that formula, you need to make them LARGER. They need to stand out, to be what they are from the start because they will only be there for a short time before they're sent packing.(reactions as of issue 4)
Aquaman VS Mammoth
FIGHT!
Way too choreographed and mechanical. In a fight sequence, you don't need to spell out every move and action. In fact, a fight on paper is better portrayed as something along the lines of:
General-Choreographed-Emotional Resonance-General/Emotional-One last choregraphed moment- then finally end among one of those depending on the series or fight tone.
Always frustrates me when writers have two people talking in the same paragraph unless they're talking over each other.
Your standard superhero and lady moment... Doesn't have a fraction of the impact of the amount of time you spent on the Navy bit (reactions as of five)
Summary
Okay... This backfired horribly. I went into it expecting improvement over my initial comments and didn't get that. I'm also finding it very hard to turn off my harsh reviewer mode.
To sum things up... You're writing the Aquaman Pilot that didn't get aired for a reason. You can certainly do an extended origin story for Aquaman as proven by Oberonfrost's take before he reaches the oceans but trying to copy Smallville is not the way to do it. There are no characters that stand out. I feel nothing towards JennaXArthur except BORING. Your cast is very dull and bland to begin with. In the four issues I just reviewed, the only characters that stood out at all were Brian momentarily and Manhunter 5.
In my opinion, you need reevaluate your extended origin or you need to rename your series/change the subtitle. This is not Aquaman. Aquaman is the king of Atlantis and whether he's outrageous or bearded badass with a hook for hand or summoning dead sea life... He's a character who has a personality and setting to define him.
He is a King!
Arthur is nowhere near there and if you continue this extended sequence (and since you have to continue to reclaim the family, I'm assuming you are)... Either have Mera show up, Ultimatize Lorena, or make Jenna more interesting to give Arthur female companionship "worthy" of the Son of Atlantis... Not the bland high school crush of a kid from Maine. Do something to change things up. It needs a spark of life and a shot of adrenalin to the chest.
Another way to do this is to stop stressing over if you're in the right generation. You can also make your characters a bit bigger. I know Tom loves his son... But I am not getting the feel that this is a man who would grab a shotgun and yell "Get off my lawn" as I should given that he took in this strange baby boy with super powers. That he was chosen to raise this kid.
If some good things can be said about the series... It's that it is put together solidly. You're not taking risks with your writing or style. That might be part of the problem of why I'm not feeling it but it's not something I should complain about since it shows that education does work.
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At this point, I'm feeling bad about the harsh review. I don't like being that sort of guy on the site. Sorry, Star. You just got the short stick when I picked a series I was behind on and reviewing since Aquaman is at the top of the title list.
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The Edit In after reading Reviews.
You just got the Superman/Batman treatment, Star. I'm not seeing what the others are seeing, especially in terms of characters. I went into the title wanting to be critical. Expecting things. None of the expectations were met.
Maybe they will when you do the time jump, but as of now... Nothing. I'll stick by my comments and hope that once you are no longer worrying about "these guys just graduated," your cast will become interesting.
And since I was reminded that Tom had a seedy past... Yeah. In his appearances post childhood, I am not feeling he is the man who was chosen to raise Arthur at all.
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Post by Stardrifter on Apr 25, 2013 22:41:31 GMT -5
I don't worry about the critical review. I appreciate the comments, whether I agree or not. And while I'm not going to let it change my plans, I will agree I could be doing better in some things. It's the whole reason I decided to give up DK, because I want more time to focus on this series. In fact, the next issue of Aquaman was next on my plate, but I wasn't happy with how it was going so I set it aside so I can try to hammer out one or both issues of DK and have that weight lifted before turning back to Aquaman.
What I will address is the extended origin. It's going to be another 2-4ish arcs before the jump to present day. I hope when the time comes that you'll appreciate why. The teen dramaesque beginning is a counterpoint to what's to come and to show where Arthur came from before things change.
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