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Post by buck on Jan 27, 2014 21:45:40 GMT -5
Nice issue.
You definitely seem to be getting more comfortable with the title and it's shining through in your writing. Interesting little twist with Vulko. I look forward to the next issue.
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Post by Drake on Jan 27, 2014 22:05:41 GMT -5
Thanks!
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Post by Drake on Feb 6, 2014 13:08:02 GMT -5
Issue 13 is up! War Games begins! It's the longest issue yet. Check it out!
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Feb 6, 2014 20:37:05 GMT -5
I will do my best to get caught up in the near future so I can be one of the people that gives you prompt reviews since you do it for me and I appreciate it.
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Post by Drake on Feb 6, 2014 20:42:32 GMT -5
Awesome!
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Post by Stardrifter on Feb 8, 2014 9:34:42 GMT -5
Not bad. I felt some of the dialogue early on was awkward. And not in a purposely awkward way. But otherwise it was good.
Interesting introduction to Kaldur. Nice fight scene. Hopefully we learn more about him soon.
Vulkos choice to reveal his plan was very...supervillainish. He gained nothing from it and instead risks Orm stopping him. Seems foolish. Felt like you did it just to have a cliffhanger.
Anyway, good issue. Keep em coming.
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Post by Stardrifter on Feb 8, 2014 10:02:11 GMT -5
And here, had this saved in my photobucket.
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Post by Drake on Feb 8, 2014 10:35:22 GMT -5
Thanks so much for the review and the picture, haha!
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Feb 10, 2014 23:53:36 GMT -5
Alrighty. Lets get this started. Pretty sure I didn't read the last of Star's run but oh well, new start eh? Only gonna review Rebellions tonight because I'll shamelessly admit I'm doing it so I can make claims then go to bed or at least been done with the UDCU for the day.
Rebellions Pt 1 & 2
Scaly pink sounds so dirty... I have a filthy and disgusting mind. I do like the whole deal about mermaids and <I am an Aquaman!>. That was appropriately badass and cheesy. Yeah, I'll echo the whole bit about first person. Issue Ten was not a fun jumping in point. Good start for it with the recap and exposition and all but it wasn't fun. Too little movement. Too little everything. The bit with his mum was touching a tad though.
Murk has quite the accent doesn't he?
Okay... That Saaaaaaaaaaay What ruined nearly all of the issue for me. I'm not sure how to reform my thoughts about the issue in general after that which is a good indication of the issue. A lot happened in the second. It was a massive jumble of things that I think could have been balanced had part of it been in issue 10. The one on one battle went on for a long time and it seemed for both that one and the later against Ocean Master, your idea to end it is random third party which made things abrupt instead of flowing. On the glass is half full side, everything was suitably chaotic and reflected appropriately in the text to give image to a wild rebellion in a broken kingdom.
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Post by buck on Feb 11, 2014 0:13:49 GMT -5
Another solid issue. You've really taking the handoff from Star well. You are opening up a lot of nice sub-plots and overall the series has been a pleasure to read under your pen. Look forward to more War Games.
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Post by Drake on Feb 11, 2014 10:10:53 GMT -5
Thanks to both of you for your reviews!
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Feb 12, 2014 13:12:46 GMT -5
I'm going to try to stretch this review, but the simple fact is positive reviews usually end up shirt because there is less to complain about.
I love this issue. Your run started out kind of rocky hit you certainly have gotten your momentum. This is what I've been looking for in Aquaman: Atlantis. The culture, the history, the politics, the problems. I love all of it. You had me completely engrossed the entire time. Kaldur's introduction was epic.
My question is how old are Garth and Kaldur? Especially compared to Aquaman. Not a complaint either way but just noticing a trend on the board where some of the usual "sidekick" characters are as old as the main guys.
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Post by Drake on Feb 12, 2014 14:55:04 GMT -5
I'm going to try to stretch this review, but the simple fact is positive reviews usually end up shirt because there is less to complain about. I love this issue. Your run started out kind of rocky hit you certainly have gotten your momentum. This is what I've been looking for in Aquaman: Atlantis. The culture, the history, the politics, the problems. I love all of it. You had me completely engrossed the entire time. Kaldur's introduction was epic. My question is how old are Garth and Kaldur? Especially compared to Aquaman. Not a complaint either way but just noticing a trend on the board where some of the usual "sidekick" characters are as old as the main guys. I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the review! I've never heard of Poseidon as a storm god and I've read the Odyssey, but a quick Google search shows me you're right. I imagine Garth is 12 or 13 and Kaldur is a little younger than Garth. He's probably around 12. The reason they're so tall and athletic is because, well, they're Atlanteans. Star stated Atlanteans were tall or at least lanky earlier in the series and Garth's a bad ass because he just is. Good genetics, if you catch my drift. Sorry if there are any grammar errors. I'm typing this from my phone.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Feb 12, 2014 15:04:44 GMT -5
Yeah. Poseidon and Zeus are weird like that. No wonder you get a lot of stories about the mid-bro getting pissed at the little bro.
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Post by Drake on Feb 12, 2014 20:07:28 GMT -5
I've removed #10's "Say what?" after the critiques. I went a little too far with the humor there.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Feb 17, 2014 2:16:52 GMT -5
#12 Interlude
That first scene was powerful man. Just powerful. Don't know why but it got me a bit misty eyed. We all know that feeling and Arthur's case, as extreme as it is, is something we've all been through. It's nice "interlude." Not much there but that doesn't mean you didn't do anything. You accomplished a lot with the a reduced amount of words. It's stronger for it. And the Ocean Master reveal, since I still haven't caught up with Star's and don't know if I've missed anything, that was good. Very good.
Now the issue suffers the same problem I had with the last one. You're doing a great job painting this as a serious tale with smart humor but then you cross the line at the end of the issue with some Saturday morning cartoon or shounen manga/show come back next week quip. Saaaaaay what. Then SCHOOL this time.
#13 War Games Pt1
Por- what? Porcelain? Porcupines? Porpoises? Shouldn't Atlantis have Porpoises? Isn't Garth destined to marry someone named Dolphin?
First scene could do with a little more movement between all the dialogue. Like maybe you should have made it walking and talking as opposed to standing in place so that Arthur could be more properly amazed at the market. Do like the buddy-buddy feel between him and Garth. Not to Bro levels yet. Makes me wonder which direction you'll go with. Also makes me realize... JASON HAS NO BRO!!! >_< What the hell. I know I'm doing a Harem comic but where is .... Oh, right... This is your Aquaman discussion.
Back on topic.
Oooh. Second scene. Definitely not gonna be a bromance. This just got serious. And expected. Good on you (horrible to say given the context) to make believable treatment of castes and what not.
Like the history lesson. It was nice. The comedic bit about being mad at when he was unceremoniously kicked out was great. Gods, Kaldur... So badass. Why did Young Justice not last? He... He was too soon. *sobs* Not sure if the final scene was placed properly. Probably but I feel it could have been just as effective in the middle and the ending was Kaldur VS Arthur..
Don't know if I can agree with the others on you finding your voice in this one. Or if I do, it's you found a voice I don't like. I thought the interlude was beautiful and you kinda follow through but then you tend to resort to more slapstick. I think the issue is that when you start to get dialogue heavy, your tone suffers. And when the whole thing is like that, the ending with Orm and the Ocean Master suffers.
Finally...
Who cares about Mera VS Arthur? I'm waiting on Kaldur vs Arthur and I can't wait until he starts calling him "My king." That definitely feels like he's gonna have bro/guy friend as opposed to Garth being more submissive and less alpha. For Kaldur, feels he chooses to be respectful and loyal but he knows he doesn't have to. Just in that little scene with him that is.
EDIT: Now I can give you next day reviews too! (well not always next day, but at least PROMPT) Gotta pay back my one reviewer for his valid opinion.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Feb 17, 2014 2:49:27 GMT -5
Blah Blah Blah Just quote me and use this to fix your scene dividers.
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Post by Drake on Feb 17, 2014 10:49:48 GMT -5
Thanks for the review, Wachter!
I guess I'll respond to your pervading criticism. I do use humor, but I also write a serious story. That is a fact. I can see how it could be harmful to the over all tone of the story, but I can honestly say that it won't change much. I'll tone down the incessant "SCHOOL?"-esque humor, but I can promise you I won't cut it all out. I hate writing overly serious stories. They're just no fun for me. That's why I add a little light to my stories. Maybe it's a little forced sometimes, but it's always there to contrast with and accentuate the dark. I apologize if it doesn't come off that way. I'll work on it.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Feb 17, 2014 11:13:51 GMT -5
Oh, I see nothing wrong with your humor (hell, I can't... look at my titles... Bleak as hell but I have it in loads) and being light in general. It's when you resort to the "school"-esque that I think the contrast is a bit too much. For example: if the school joke was used exactly the same way in issue 13, I think it would have worked. In the context of Interlude, it read out of place.
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Post by Drake on Mar 15, 2014 16:30:30 GMT -5
14 is up!
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