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Post by buck on Mar 18, 2013 12:54:24 GMT -5
Man another great issue this time around.
Constantine is pretty damn good under your pen. Definitely interested in the direction you're taking the story and I'm amped to see Papa Constantine.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Apr 5, 2013 20:19:08 GMT -5
Issue #4 is up.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Apr 5, 2013 21:24:27 GMT -5
Who needs an elaborate epic showdown with Jack the Ripper when a simple con job will do the trick? ;D Even though it was somewhat predictable, loved the twist.
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Post by Stardrifter on Apr 6, 2013 13:37:33 GMT -5
Yeah it was a nice issue, but the big twist of the conclusion was pretty cliche. I'd have liked to have seen something a little different. Otherwise, good as always. Keep em coming.
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Post by adrini on Apr 10, 2013 22:35:08 GMT -5
I...really like your series. Really really like it.
I loved the con job, brilliant. You are also playing a very chill almost natural relationship. It's a nice change of pace from the more dramatic ones that the majority of comic book land is known for. The only issue I have is writing in vernacular. I can't tell if you spelled something wrong or if it is meant to be that way. That's the danger with vernacular though.
Keep up the good work.
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Post by buck on Apr 22, 2013 3:15:36 GMT -5
Predictable but enjoyable. Have to agree I loved the subtleness of the showdown and John and Kit's relationship. Nice touches on both.
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Post by liquidsword34 on May 7, 2013 20:51:48 GMT -5
Issue 5 is up. I went back and forth on a lot of stuff, mostly in terms of explaining the main plot device and some of the prose used in one scene, but overall I'm happy with this issue.
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Post by Stardrifter on May 14, 2013 17:50:24 GMT -5
It wasn't bad. Was nice having a self contained story. I think my only gripe is that John would use the compass without knowing what would happen. Keep em coming.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Jun 13, 2013 19:48:30 GMT -5
6 is up
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 15, 2013 13:20:46 GMT -5
Another really good issue. Quite a few strange errors, but nothing that broke the issue. The only other problem I had was that you had so many characters at once in the flashback that I couldn't follow them all.
Otherwise it was a great story. Nice seeing John in his youth. I liked how you wrote Jane in the end. Keep em coming.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Jun 15, 2013 22:10:45 GMT -5
Quite a few strange errors, but nothing that broke the issue. Strange errors?
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 15, 2013 23:07:22 GMT -5
Some spelling, some wrong words used or seemingly missing words. Do you use autocorrect on what you type with? That might explain some of it.
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Post by Ultimate Silentking on Jun 16, 2013 11:12:36 GMT -5
Finally caught up.
Issue 3-4: It was a pretty good middle and end of an arc. Although as everyone said, the ending was predictable. Admittedly, I didn't automatically figure out how exactly John's plan was suppose to work until it worked, so some points for you there. 8.25/10 for the whole arc.
Issue 5: A nice self contained story. It gives a nice introduction to Mr. E and Papa Midnite who I hope will appear again. 8/10
Issue 6: An excellent beginning to another arc. It is very great with the only issues to be had are that there were a couple of errors like Star said and the whole keeping track of characters in the flashback. I didn't get completely lost, but I swore that Anna and Judith came out of nowhere at one point. But other than that, this issue was great. 8.5/10
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2013 7:25:35 GMT -5
Right, so I am working my way through the series so far.
For the most part, I think you have the voice of John down pretty well, which is good. Sometimes it's a little tough for non-native speakers, if you get what I mean, to get an English voice down without it becoming 'Oh, bloody nora me old mucka, any one want a cup of tea, me old china?' So, kudos on that.
In fact the stories are pretty nice, there is just one thing that's really bugging me. I've not seen anyone else mention it, and I actually went off to check because I wasn't sure if it was one of those 'other country rules' but...why do you put the punctuation outside of the speech marks? I mean, aside from that, there aren't any glaring/massive grammatical errors. It's only for some of it as well, the commas and the full stops. I found this to be the biggest thing to put me off when I'm reading the issues.
I've enjoyed your expansion of the supporting cast as well, with Mr. E and Papa Midnite - much better than the current DCnu versions of the characters. John is actually, sometimes, a better driving force for the plot than the plot actually is, which is great. Sometimes, people use the plot to drive the characters (people like me) and if you can use the characters as the driving force, you've basically won the battle there. There's a lot I can take away from your approach to using John - a single focus for a series is often better. I think, as fic writers, we get taken in with the shiny, shiny toys and then end up walking down the path with a huge sack of them, instead of just playing with a few favourites.
I didn't find the expansion of the cast to be too complicated, and as I said before, I am enjoying it. Looking forward to the next issue greatly, actually, I want to see where this one goes!
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Post by liquidsword34 on Jul 2, 2013 8:16:29 GMT -5
In fact the stories are pretty nice, there is just one thing that's really bugging me. I've not seen anyone else mention it, and I actually went off to check because I wasn't sure if it was one of those 'other country rules' but...why do you put the punctuation outside of the speech marks? I mean, aside from that, there aren't any glaring/massive grammatical errors. It's only for some of it as well, the commas and the full stops. I found this to be the biggest thing to put me off when I'm reading the issues. That's just the way I've always done it. A while back MRP mentioned it and when I looked it up I found that in British-English that's how it's supposed to be done, so just stuck with it.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2013 9:33:45 GMT -5
Sorry to disappoint, but that's only when you're quoting things from a text. I looked it up as well, because I wasn't sure if it was an American/Canadian thing, but it's only for when you're quoting text within a sentence, not actual dialogue.
We still put our punctuation inside the speech marks over here.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Jul 2, 2013 10:47:54 GMT -5
Ah, OK then, I'll try to keep that in mind next issue.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Jul 26, 2013 19:08:27 GMT -5
Next issue up. I'm sort of aware of two things:
1) It ended up being a bit too long And 2) The whole hotel scene was a bit vague
The former just sort of happened, and there didn't feel like a natural breakpoint. The latter was intentional, but I'm still unsure of whether it was the right choice. I went back and forth on it, but I think I managed to make the reason for the vagueness clear enough, if that makes sense.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jul 30, 2013 11:10:42 GMT -5
Not bad. I had no problem with it except that it ends abruptly. I know you were concerned with length, but it just kinda stops. It didn't feel like a natural conclusion. Otherwise great work. I still think there were too many not well defined characters at once, but what's done is done.
Keep em coming.
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Post by Ultimate Silentking on Aug 4, 2013 17:19:47 GMT -5
Yeah, Drifter is right about everything. At least Jane was interesting enough to keep me entertained when the focus shifted to her. I also liked John's characterization here. This may be the weakest issue you put out yet in this series, but it is still a good issue. 7.5/10
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