Ok I am a little late coming to the party, but just read B&R #1.
To be honest, the issue was a bit of a mess for me.
In the open we get Dick as reality TV star, a gig that works as a to put it in a more modern timeframe, but not one that gives him the kind of background and training he would need to assume the role of Robin. A casual aside that he likes to study martial arts and there is always a technique to learn where ever he goes (as well as math and science) make him seem more a dabbler and dilettante than a dedicated student.
Also, I know people dislike the idea of a young kid sidekick, but making Dick 16 at the time of his parents death opens up a whole host of other issues that threaten the credibility of the Batman-Robin partnership. Bruce would have no
Then the plane explodes, Dick sees his folks die and then we skip ahead and Dick is living with his aunt. No mention of possible foul play, no indication it was anything in anyone's mind except a tragic accident, so when Dick learns Zucco was acquitted I had to ask of what and why does Dick care? It had no emotional resonance for the character because it had no context in the story-why? because you as the writer didn't give us any.
If there was a criminal investigation into the deaths, the estate and all aspects of the will would have been tied up in probate, so his father's wishes for his custody wouldn't have come into play. Also, at 16, with his background and independent education, and the fact that he would likely have had to have had an independent contract with GBC to appear on the show with his own money kept in a trust until he reaches the age of majority or is declared an adult) there is a real likelihood Dick would have been declared an emancipated minor rather than given into custody or assigned anywhere-he had the means and the background to take care of himself at 16, so the court likely would have declared him an adult and given him access to his own trust while his parents assets were tied up in probate because of the criminal investigation into their death.
The action sequences were confusing and either missing sequences or wrong names were used to indicate who was doing what-example:
Using the opportunity he was presented with, Zucco inched away and then got up to go into a full sprint away from the scene. It wasn’t long before Dick looked behind him and saw a fluttering black form that seemed to take the shape of a man gaining on him. Dick felt something thin and sharp like a string wrap around his legs as he ran, causing him to fall harshly to the ground.
Read more:
ultimatedc.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=batmanandrobin&action=display&thread=1078#ixzz2JOp2qxTCZucco gets up and runs and then Dick is looking behind him getting snared by a Bat-toy...when did Dick start running?
Last we saw of Dick he was on the ground about to be shot when Batman came down and snatched the shooter and then we are told Zucco gets up-Dick does nothing in between that we are aware of yet he needs to be brought down by Batman?
You have words missing from sentences:
“You concept of the word weak and powerless.
Read more:
ultimatedc.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=batmanandrobin&action=display&thread=1078#ixzz2JOq0h1Ztmaking it sound like Bizarro Batman dialogue.
There other issues as well-such as using the wrong word:
When she pulled away, Dick had a goofy grin on his face. To feign his feelings, he looked down at his phone and caught a glimpse of his GBC-Odyssey app that had the headline: “Zucco Acquitted; Returns to Gotham.”
Read more:
ultimatedc.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=batmanandrobin&action=display&thread=1078#ixzz2JOqoLIVXFeign means to pretend or imitate-such as to feign death. So to imitate his feelings he he looked down at his phone? I think you are trying to imply he was trying to hide or conceal his feelings and maybe a thesaurus let you down. Never trust a thesausrus to pick a word unless you are 100% certain you know what the word means before you saw it there. And then we got the headline with no context that should be the turning point of the story, but because it lacks context, means nothing at the time.
I can see what you are trying to do, and from conversations we have had I know you have put a lot of thought and effort into this, but it just didn't show up on the page this issue. As I said, it was a mess-from what you decided to include or not include, to how it was structured, to the lack of editing, etc. It felt rushed and thrown together, like you had bits you wanted to use and show us but hadn't quite figured out how they all went together yet. I know you are capable of much better, I have seen it from you, which is why I am so disappointed in this issue.
The biggest issue I have though is moving forward-Bruce has no possible or even conceivable reason to take Dick Grayson into his trust-he is a complete stranger and what actions Grayson has demonstrated have been ill-conceived and rash. Why would Bruce risk everything by revealing "THE Secret" to such a person? Nothing we saw of Grayson in this issue makes him the kind of person Bruce would trust or take under his wing-and despite everything else that is my biggest issue with this issue of a book entitled Batman AND Robin.
-M