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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Oct 26, 2012 23:14:52 GMT -5
 So if the first arc's banner or the subtitle don't give it away, you're in for an ultimatization treat. Arrow will be a far cry from my prior series. A darker tone that might even be grimmer than what I intended for Shadowpact and what I showed with Grayson. So if you're looking forward to my usual batch of humor and snark... Well, it's still gonna be here, just not in the same way. So stay tuned folks, Ultimate Arrow #1: Red Pt. 1 is on the horizon. --- Note: No, the subtitle and name aren't cashing in on the Arrow TV Show. Starling is a fantastic word to describe people from Star City. And this is more than just "Green" Arrow's story. |
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Post by froggy on Oct 27, 2012 4:01:00 GMT -5
Well considering I enjoyed Grayson, I think I'll dig Arrow
at first I Thought the subtitle was referring to a type of bird, so thanks for the heads up
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Oct 27, 2012 9:49:29 GMT -5
Took me awhile to figure that out. Had to ask myself "How does one get a bird from "'The Archer's Creed"" then I realized you meant Starling.
Nope. Just in reference to Star City though the "Starlings" have existed far longer than the city's foundation.
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Post by unchartedfan1 on Oct 27, 2012 11:05:38 GMT -5
I'm excited.
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Post by froggy on Oct 27, 2012 13:35:54 GMT -5
ahh okay, well I def share Mezzaro's sentiments
excitement awaits me, but now I go to work on my OWN stuff so you guys can fill my thread up with comments about how wonderful it is
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Post by unchartedfan1 on Oct 27, 2012 17:27:41 GMT -5
Will do froggy, will do.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Oct 29, 2012 3:32:30 GMT -5
Welp Finished. I'll probably post it tonight after I've sat on it for a bit and edited it. Need to figure out if a scene is better fitting for this issue or best left to the second issue to fluff up its length.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Oct 30, 2012 23:04:50 GMT -5
Little bit later than I intended, but all posty.
There were bits of it I didn't like but overall, it's probably one of my favorite first issues that I've done. Anything left unexplained like the second sight Arrow experiences or what P.O.E. means, you can expect to be explained in a later issue. (Next issue specifically for those two). Not my usual take on things. Not gonna apologize for going Grrr, GrimDark. I'll still have lighthearted moments.
Trust me.
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Post by Ultimate Silentking on Oct 31, 2012 0:08:27 GMT -5
I loved it very much, especially the subtle connection between Roy and Altair. My only complaint is when the words suddenly became italicized. What is more, you identically left a couple of these"" in there. Which distracted me a bit. Overall, it is a pretty good first issue. 8.4/10. Gave it 8.4 because I liked Demon Knights more and I had given that one an 8.5.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Oct 31, 2012 0:16:38 GMT -5
Oops. That was a formatting issue that I missed. Thanks for pointing it out.
---
Yeah. I'm expecting flak on the italics. I knew that going in. Meant to portray the difference between present and flashback unless it is single word. I wanted to do it as a single, flowing scene instead of jumping back and forth with the scene breaks. Unfortunately, that doesn't work when you screw up one of the codes for half a scene.
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Post by Stardrifter on Oct 31, 2012 8:28:05 GMT -5
I liked it. Its an interesting take on the characters and I'm interested to see how they'll fit with the rest of the universe. My only complaint is how the first half's atmosphere was a bit overbearing. Not that I mind it was dark, but you spent so much time on the atmosphere and such that it dragged. I honestly started to get a bit bored.
Now that's really a minor complaint. Otherwise it was very well done and I look forward to more issues. Keep em coming.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Oct 31, 2012 11:51:18 GMT -5
The italics threw me off a bit, mostly because at first I was confused about why they were there. In the first scene you focused a lot on describing how dark it was and such, it dragged at times and seemed static, if that makes sense. It was well written and over all a good issue aside from that.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Oct 31, 2012 20:20:51 GMT -5
Alright, now that I have three responses and I didn't have to answer for a screwup...
SK
The subtle connection between Roy and Altair is definitely intentional. Difference is Roy isn't quite the same sort of prodigy as the latter. That and restoring his status as a Master Assassin/Archer in a single go seemed less like a game mechanic. Ollie tried to protect him by the punishment and he's trying to do the same by restoring his gear after he's gone through the probation period in Ollie's corner of the world. You don't send your best operative out in the big bad world with restrictions... not counting the whole gun thing.
And yep. Demon Knights was my favorite too of our current issue 1s so no hard feelings.
Star
;_;
That sucks. I thought I was doing a good job trying to paint a picture of the city without going overboard. My bad. Happens when I got into exposition sometimes. On the other hand, I prefer that scene to some of the abrupt points in the last one that don't flow at all.
Liquid
Yeah. I get what you're saying. It makes sense.
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Post by jackalope on Nov 1, 2012 5:53:21 GMT -5
Awesome. Really neat concept setting it around Roy, rather than Ollie- you really like your generational stories eh? Love the concept of the Starling assassin Brotherhood, especially the whole highly-trained mystic powers. Really cool all around- look forward to your reveals. I guess we'll have to figure out who the new president is soon, especially seen you just killed the next likely one. Who is X?!
Great stuff.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Nov 1, 2012 7:39:40 GMT -5
I'll probably be announcing the President when I start with the continuity board. We went with originals crafted around creator names this time around. MRP went above and beyond the call of duty by doing a partial cabinet too.
On that note...
^_^
Who is able to guess the creators used in Robert Krul's name? Surname is pretty obvious but can you figure out the Robert? I dropped a hint with his description.
Mwuhahahahaha
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Nov 2, 2012 16:01:38 GMT -5
You know it wasn't until I actually read this story that I realized that there were multiple people using Assassin's Creed elements in their stories?
I especially like how you timed the release with the release of AC3.
I have mixed feelings about Ollie not being the main character, but I guess with the Arrow series I can get my fix there.
I wish I could say more other than "it's awesome," because, well, it's hard to give constructive criticism on a story when you can't find any real faults to comment on. I was going to say "ripoff of Assassin's Creed" before I realized that wasn't "ripoff" so much as your original intent.
>-I)->
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Post by buck on Nov 4, 2012 10:44:59 GMT -5
Really enjoyed the take. It's an interesting change of pace having Ollie simply be in the mentor role. I think the flashbacks could've happened a little smoother. Overall I'm looking forward to what's to come though.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Nov 9, 2012 18:51:58 GMT -5
You know it wasn't until I actually read this story that I realized that there were multiple people using Assassin's Creed elements in their stories? I especially like how you timed the release with the release of AC3. I have mixed feelings about Ollie not being the main character, but I guess with the Arrow series I can get my fix there. I wish I could say more other than "it's awesome," because, well, it's hard to give constructive criticism on a story when you can't find any real faults to comment on. I was going to say "ripoff of Assassin's Creed" before I realized that wasn't "ripoff" so much as your original intent. >-I)-> I noticed that SK had Templars so with them there, figured I might as well use the Brotherhood. Brings an interesting dynamic to the Ultimate Universe when you have the Brotherhood exist side by side with the League of Shadows/Assassins. It was actually Connor Hawke who inspired me to connect the Arrow Family with them. What's happened with him over the years and what he can do can fits within the AC world. The Release with ACIII was entirely coincidental. <_< I needed something to do while I couldn't play it. Don't be let down about Ollie. He'll have his time to shine. But using legacies is something I enjoy doing. They're meant to be used. Not sit on a shelf to bring back the glory days. One thing I love about DC is the rich heritage and the amount of legacy characters they have. Used to be that heroes grew, their legacies grew, a new mantle was born, and sometimes they stepped up and became the new *insert hero here* or something before all the recent regression. What's the point in characters like Connor or Wally or Dick if they'll never get their chance in the spotlight... Or when they do, it's just temporary? Roy, and Connor later, may be the stars of the series but they wouldn't be who they are if not for what Ollie did before them. And putting Ollie as an older character allows me to give the UDCU some history and potentially tie into anything that existed before the restart point. Awww... Thank you. Really enjoyed the take. It's an interesting change of pace having Ollie simply be in the mentor role. I think the flashbacks could've happened a little smoother. Overall I'm looking forward to what's to come though. He may be called "The Mentor" but he's not simply in that role. As people who have played the series or read the comics know, the Mentor of the Assassins is the leader of the Order. He does much more than simply "teach" and direct. If he hadn't moved Roy there to clean up Star City then that's what Ollie would have been doing on his free nights and it's what he'll be doing while Roy is out and about. --- Welp, since I finished ACIII last night, time for me to get started on my issue 2. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2012 0:29:40 GMT -5
Slowly catching up on the debut issues, and just got a chance to finish Arrow #1.
Interesting concept and well written.
A few comments...
-in the early part when you are trying to establish the mood and tone many of your sentences and paragraphs took on the same rhythm. Not sure if it was intentional but for me it made it feel like I was reading the same thing even though the sentences said different things. It lulled me as a reader into a sense of sameness even if it wasn't there. I had to go back and reread this section twice after the initial read as I kept getting sucked into the rhythm of the words rather than staying focused on the content. That may be what made the section seem to drag for others, don't know.
-despite the use of the italics, the past and present sections blended a bit for me, making it difficult to keep straight. Possibly because they had the same voice-which in one sense is good because you definitely had a clear and distinctive voice for Arrow-but bad in another because it helped them blend together a bit too much when they were meant to be more distinct.
-the set up is interesting and I am curious where some of the plots will go, but the characters haven't grabbed me yet the way your characters in previous series did. Par of it is personal preference in that I have a hard time investing in characters who are killers by nature. Heroes who kill only as a last resort to save more lives or soldiers in the line of duty are characters I can empathize with as a reader, cold blooded killers not so much, so you will have a much bigger challenge getting me as a reader to invest in these characters with this series than you did with Spoilers, Grayson, or B&tB. So far, while the plot intrigues me, the characters haven't gotten me to invest. It's early yet, I will be back for more though.
-M
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Dec 31, 2012 19:39:00 GMT -5
Not the best issue. It's a one-off that I didn't have room for in either my first or second issues.
Chris managed to convince me to post it in order to give myself time to get my life in order and come back to the boards properly. So hopefully his faith in me will pay off.
Probably a fair share of mistakes in it too. ;_;
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