|
Post by unchartedfan1 on Feb 17, 2013 3:11:07 GMT -5
I didn't say in there. I just left you guys the job of figuring out that it was between him exiting into the shadows and then Superman appearing. I think he meant during the earlier scene, when he was saving people from the falling debris. He didn't switch costume, he was just flying around it his street clothes shooting laser beams and such. There were still quite a few errors, but it's definitely improving. In the 2006/Invasion scene he was just flying around in his street cloths. He isn't in his Superman garb until the closing scene in 2012.
|
|
|
Post by Stardrifter on Feb 17, 2013 17:42:26 GMT -5
It was okay. Some obvious proofreading errors. The first scene sets something up that the rest of the issue doesn't pay off, namely Martha's death. It makes the first scene stand out as being pointless to the narrative flow of the issue.
Otherwise it was okay. The action was a little confusing and the crack lady was...yeeeah. But otherwise it sets up some of Clark's character well. Keep em coming.
|
|
|
Post by unchartedfan1 on Feb 17, 2013 23:38:52 GMT -5
Otherwise it was okay. The action was a little confusing and the crack lady was...yeeeah. But otherwise it sets up some of Clark's character well. Keep em coming. The crack lady's sole purpose was to show that Clark would help anyone, no matter how lost they are.
|
|
|
Post by Ultimate Silentking on Feb 18, 2013 20:12:34 GMT -5
The story was kind of hard to follow at times and there were still some spelling mistakes. I also was not griped by it as some of your other issues. But I still enjoyed it overall and the faults were not too bad. 7/10.
|
|
|
Post by liquidsword34 on Feb 22, 2013 21:27:02 GMT -5
Otherwise it was okay. The action was a little confusing and the crack lady was...yeeeah. But otherwise it sets up some of Clark's character well. Keep em coming. The crack lady's sole purpose was to show that Clark would help anyone, no matter how lost they are. It came off as sort of...patronising? I'm not sure how to describe it. Drug addiction isn't just something which a character like Superman is equipped to deal with, especially by just swatting away a crack pipe like that's all it takes. It came off as very hollow, like you wanted the character to get kudos for dealing with drug addiction without actually doing so. The racial slurs were also just awkward and unneccesery.
|
|
|
Post by unchartedfan1 on Feb 23, 2013 0:33:50 GMT -5
I don't seem to remember any racial slurs.
|
|
|
Post by liquidsword34 on Feb 23, 2013 13:20:22 GMT -5
The drug addict called Clark "cracka" multiple times. It makes her really unsympathetic.
|
|
|
Post by DiscipleofBob on Feb 25, 2013 13:20:54 GMT -5
From a narrative standpoint, I don't mind the "crack-lady." Of course a young, naive Clark Kent would try something like that. Of course it shouldn't and wouldn't work, but then again we don't get a chance to see the results of that action.
What this issue did well was capture the constant moral conundrum that is Superman. That despite all his powers, he can't save everyone, but he is well aware of people he could have saved but chose not to because he was saving someone else.
Some spelling and grammar errors here and there. Enough to be noticeable at least. ("Shinning City?")
As an origin issue, I would have preferred if it addressed some other questions though. Like why the red and blue tights? And how did Clark get to his job as a news reporter? And how does he deal with the fact that his, ie. Superman's face, is on the news every night? And does he have to constantly excuse himself from live news reports to go save lives and how does that affect his job? I think this would have been a good opportunity to answer some questions and fill some plotholes that remain unfilled.
|
|
|
Post by unchartedfan1 on Mar 3, 2013 0:32:29 GMT -5
#7 is up, and expect #8 by the month's end to conclude the Men of STEEL! I hope you guys like it.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Mar 3, 2013 11:07:46 GMT -5
It was alright. I liked your last issue more. This one was riddled with grammar errors and some of the characterization just felt off. One thing in particular threw me off. In your issue 0, you made a big point of Clark trying to save everyone, but in issue 7, with someone he loves, he doesn't even try to find a solution. He doesn't try to save Lana. He just lets her die. It's completely out of character for any version of Superman I've read, including yours. 6/10.
|
|
|
Post by Ultimate Silentking on Mar 3, 2013 16:42:45 GMT -5
I personally don't see how he can save her. Only versions of Superman I can think that can save her is pre-Crisis Superman (Able to make up powers as the plot demands) and Superman One Million (Pretty much God and even brought back Lois Lane from the dead). I pretty much enjoyed and didn't notice much grammar mistakes that would have bugged me. I saw some, but not that much. Probably would have noticed more if I give it a second read through. I enjoyed the issue enough and much more than issue 0. 7.5/10
|
|
|
Post by liquidsword34 on Mar 4, 2013 19:11:01 GMT -5
I personally don't see how he can save her. I don't think that was Drake's point, and dare I say it that's completely missing the point of Superman as a character. Superman isn't a character who would just go "oh, well I guess I can't save her" and just give up. Ever. When it comes to things like that, Superman should be saving the person or upset over the fact he can't save them, not accepting the fact. Superman wants to help everybody, and he'll try to save everybody. That's who he is.
|
|
|
Post by liquidsword34 on Mar 4, 2013 19:24:34 GMT -5
More on topic: PROOFREADING
The mistakes really take me out of the story, and most of them seem like they'd be easy to catch ie: "Ultra stairs back into Lex’s eyes and addresses him with a total lake of doubt, as always.". I understand the odd few errors (I myself am prone to them), but it's not like you're rushing issues out barely getting to the deadline with no time to give it a quick once over, and it's really damaging the readability of the issues.
I'm also unsure what the point of Lana and Irons being kidnapped in Afghan was. They got kidnapped, were all upset etc then told it was just a set-up and they were offered a place in the steel program. But...why? I can't see what they were being monitored for, and nothing you described makes it seem like they'd have passed any sort of test. I get what you were going for but I think you could've done it a bit better.
|
|
|
Post by unchartedfan1 on Mar 5, 2013 1:26:05 GMT -5
I personally don't see how he can save her. I don't think that was Drake's point, and dare I say it that's completely missing the point of Superman as a character. Superman isn't a character who would just go "oh, well I guess I can't save her" and just give up. Ever. When it comes to things like that, Superman should be saving the person or upset over the fact he can't save them, not accepting the fact. Superman wants to help everybody, and he'll try to save everybody. That's who he is. Through this and the 0 issue, I've clearly shown that my ultimazation of Clark Kent/Superman pulls him away from the old, all-American Superman, turning him into a more realistic character. He knows he can't save everyone and he accepts it. Following the relaunch, the most common comment on #1's was that we writers write the characters assuming you already know them without really attempting to establish them in their own, individual light. I've taken the liberty of establishing my Superman as the modern American. He does everything he can, but when hell comes knocking, he accepts the facts, he isn't the sun-god of the silver age, he's just a Superman. As for the proofreading error you specifically pointed out, I don' t see anything wrong with it.
|
|
|
Post by Ultimate Silentking on Mar 5, 2013 2:23:35 GMT -5
You spelt "stares" as "stairs" and "lack" with "lake". How the hell do I always miss this stuff when I read your issues? Seriously, I almost never see an error in your issues until a second readthrough or by having someone point it out.
|
|
|
Post by unchartedfan1 on Mar 5, 2013 11:55:50 GMT -5
I usually miss stuff until it's point out. But yeah, I missed those.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Mar 5, 2013 17:14:09 GMT -5
I don't think that was Drake's point, and dare I say it that's completely missing the point of Superman as a character. Superman isn't a character who would just go "oh, well I guess I can't save her" and just give up. Ever. When it comes to things like that, Superman should be saving the person or upset over the fact he can't save them, not accepting the fact. Superman wants to help everybody, and he'll try to save everybody. That's who he is. Through this and the 0 issue, I've clearly shown that my ultimazation of Clark Kent/Superman pulls him away from the old, all-American Superman, turning him into a more realistic character. He knows he can't save everyone and he accepts it. Following the relaunch, the most common comment on #1's was that we writers write the characters assuming you already know them without really attempting to establish them in their own, individual light. I've taken the liberty of establishing my Superman as the modern American. He does everything he can, but when hell comes knocking, he accepts the facts, he isn't the sun-god of the silver age, he's just a Superman. As for the proofreading error you specifically pointed out, I don' t see anything wrong with it. I understand it's your take on the character, but you never made it clear he now accepts death, and although mentioned he "does everything he can" he really didn't in the issue. He did absolutely nothing at all to try to save Lana. I'm not saying he should have saved Lana, I'm just saying he should have tried. Even your Superman is still "the Greatest Hero." It says so in your subtitle. If he's such a great hero, then he better damn well try his hardest to save everyone, even if he knows he won't succeed.
|
|
|
Post by Stardrifter on Mar 5, 2013 18:26:56 GMT -5
I agree. Lana says she has an hour to live. Why? What is done to her that kills her? Why doesn't Clark fly her to a hospital? He's just like, "Yeah okay, let's go fight these robots!"
A bit of blunt honesty, I didn't like this issue at all. Despite the errors and the author comments that took me right out of the story, there were just plain old plot holes. Why did Lane put on the charade for Lana and John? It makes no sense and was needlessly complicated. Why is the robot called HAMMER and then Metallo? Why is there no mention of how Lane and Luthor should both know Clark's secret now through both of their surveillance on Lana?
I'm not trying to bring you down, I just don't feel like you thought this story through.
|
|
|
Post by unchartedfan1 on Mar 5, 2013 18:41:45 GMT -5
Almost none of that is a plot hole, it just hasn't been said yet. I've been saying this from issue #1, just because something isn't immediately wrapped up in the issue it is presented in doesn't mean that it is a plot hole.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Mar 5, 2013 18:51:00 GMT -5
I think what star may have not realized, but was really getting at, was that you keep adding new mysteries to be explored, or as star called them "plot holes," which do seem like ones, and you're not answering any of the questions you've put forth. I'm not doubting your vision, Mez, but you definitely need to start answering questions and stop adding more.
|
|