|
Post by adrini on Jul 8, 2013 20:57:02 GMT -5
Totally forgot to put this up. Sorry about that.
|
|
|
Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Jul 9, 2013 14:17:44 GMT -5
I know I had a preview take since you're playing in my part of the sand box and messing with my largest sandcastle there so I can't offer much in terms of a review that I didn't say before but I do have one thing.
With you playing in the past and these characters existing in some fashion in the present... don't miss the opportunity to show how they have changed.
Does Ted have hair or has he been shaving it for quite a number of years? How does a young Kate look different than the mature Kate? Was Di actually a bit thicker before her escape to Africa since she ate and trained more? How do Sandra and Dinah look?
Works for the city too.
|
|
|
Post by adrini on Jul 9, 2013 23:36:49 GMT -5
All things I intend to do but I need future chapters first. They have nothing to compare these things to.
Unless, and this would be corny, I base the story as when Dinah finally tells Ollie the full story of her final years in the haven. That presents its own challenges though.
|
|
|
Post by Ultimate Silentking on Jul 10, 2013 3:09:52 GMT -5
It was an okay issue. The writing was good but the story was a little boring. Nothing exactly held my interest and I kept getting confused between Dinah and her Mom (Or is it the other way around? Do both have the same name?) Hopefully there will be a little more action next issue. 7/10
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2013 21:13:39 GMT -5
I loved the sense of camaraderie between the characters. They practically feel like a family already, and they're not even officially a team yet.
My only real critique is that the issue felt like it was lacking a hook of some kind. It read more like a flashback one-shot in the vein of Ultimate Outlaws as opposed to the beginning of a new ongoing series. I'm sure that will change as the series progresses though, and I look forward to reading more.
|
|
|
Post by Stardrifter on Jul 13, 2013 13:11:55 GMT -5
Well written as always. Your characters continue being distinct and well voiced. The friendship was well done and easily understood. I like seeing so much tie in with the universe.
Couple things I'd like to point out. I echo SKs issue with the Dinahs. With two characters of the same name it needs to be consistent. You kept up the Dinah for mom and Di for daughter for a while, but then the trainer/parent scene had mom as Di.
Jason just appeared out of nowhere at the end. Was he supposed to be the kid that Ted was training, because that was never made clear. Also the timeframe for the story wasn't really made clear. Barring the fact that we know these characters through Haven and GA, nothing said past to it. New readers who might start here could be confused.
Lastly I would agree there's no hook here. Nothing that says, "This is a new series and this is what it's about". If you want to think in comic terms, while it was a well written story, nothing in it makes me excited to buy the next issue?
Still, despite all that it was well done. You obviously have the characters well thought out. Keep em coming.
|
|
|
Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Jul 13, 2013 14:34:57 GMT -5
Not my Jason. Maybe it's Bard?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2013 14:45:29 GMT -5
That would be news to me.
|
|
|
Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Jul 13, 2013 15:02:04 GMT -5
ETRIGAN!?!?!
|
|
|
Post by Ultimate Silentking on Jul 13, 2013 15:53:41 GMT -5
No wonder why I was bored with the issue. As Star and Marlowe pointed out, there was no hook. Nothing that grabs me and wants me to prepare for the next issue.
Edit: Maybe a teenage, non-bald Lex Luthor from another dimension? That would be awesome.
|
|
|
Post by liquidsword34 on Jul 13, 2013 20:40:53 GMT -5
It was well written, but nothing really held my attention. The characterization was good but there wasn't really much else there.
|
|
|
Post by adrini on Sept 30, 2013 21:31:12 GMT -5
Issue 2 up.
|
|
|
Post by cross on Oct 1, 2013 8:34:03 GMT -5
I actually quite like this series so far. Yes, it does need some more action but, I'm enjoying it so far.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Dec 14, 2013 16:17:58 GMT -5
Finally caught up with Birds of Prey. It's a nice little series, but I have to echo what Star said earlier in this thread. First off, it's hard to get in to. I'm a little way into Green Arrow and have read 'Haven, but still I'm lost on some of the relationships and characters. This series' greatest strength is also its greatest weakness. It uses continuity too heavily. Second, there's no hook. Nothing makes it overly exciting yet. I'd recommend speeding up the plot some. Don't rush it, but there needs to be a prominent villain and/or conflict outside of breast cancer and Jade's parental issues. Issue 3 was a step up with that, but nowhere near as fast paced as it needs to be for this title to truly thrive.
All of that being said, your characterization is fantastic! Issue 1 immediately makes the characters' camaraderie apparent, and although it's a little tough to understand why they get along so well without a huge backstory, you make it as clear and realistic as possible. Your dialogue--which is admittedly part of characterization--is also great!
Issue 1- 7/10 Issue 2- 6.5/10 Issue 3- 7.25/10
All in all, this is a good start. What you need to do now is make everything faster paced, and make the title a little more accessible. If you do that, BoP will immediately turn from a pretty good title to a great one.
|
|
|
Post by Stardrifter on Dec 24, 2013 18:12:27 GMT -5
I felt 2 was better than 3. There just doesn't seem to be much happening in this series. It's kinda boring. 2 was better with the cancer scare and the conflict with Sandra, but even then everything is kinda dull.
I also think there are too many characters and too loose a focus. Granted Di(#2 had some more Dinah/Di confusion) seems to be the focus, but there are so many characters and the introduction of Renee just adds to it.
Drake brought up a good point too. It's too continuity dependent for its own good. As slow and boring as it is, I imagine it'd be worse if I wasn't familiar with Green Arrow and Haven. Without the interest in seeing how those characters ended up where they are, I can't imagine this holding my interest.
Overall this feels like backstory, if you get my meaning. Like you're taking a series bible or other peripheral back story that isn't quite interesting enough to make it into a series and forcing it into its own series. As always you're great with making distinct characters and writing familial relationships. But that on its own just isn't enough to sustain a story.
Hopefully things pick up soon. Keep em coming.
|
|
|
Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Jan 16, 2014 22:13:27 GMT -5
I'm gonna agree with everyone who says they're having a hard time placing the series. I can't fault you since I got sucked into the phantom zone and left you hanging and picking up strings but I have no clue when this happens in context to either Haven or Green Arrow. All I remember is that it's supposed to happen before the start of the Last Year Saga.
You're doing a magnificent job on the dynamic between the Birds. It's refreshing to see Kate interact with people her own age instead of a pubescent boy and whatever you consider Arthur to be. I'll admit to have wanting to see more of Kate being open and flirting around instead of in a serious relationship for her entire UDCU experience so I hope you don't put the two together too quickly. And by jove, do I love Ollie and Kate's interaction.
Issue two left me generally confused since I could never tell how much time was passing between scenes and I also thought I read Kate convincing Jade to move in with her in the end yet it's the Lances. I did her club music during the party scene so you obviously did something right there.
Issue three had that whole deal with communications that left me wondering who was speaking and how. And in that same scene, where you had a chance to pick up the plot/action, I'm left wondering "Did the girls SUIT UP?" For their first costumed adventure in the pages of BoP, that should have been something more.
|
|
|
Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Feb 1, 2014 1:33:50 GMT -5
Oh my God! It's BIRDS OF PREY!! Wait, I shouldn't be this excited. I was given a preview.
I'll read it on the morrow to see what changes you made.
|
|
|
Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Feb 1, 2014 17:57:01 GMT -5
I hear I'm apparently being brought in as a co-something... But until I am, THIS REVIEW COUNTS DAMN IT!
Given my magical powers, I fixed that +++scene break+++ snafu that no one will ever know about except if they read this post. ^_^
I think this issue fixes most of the complaints people had about the title. The girls got out of their lives and into the Birds. They suited up, had fun, and kicked some ass. It's the first issue to feel like it could stand on its own (for the most part) without needing Haven or Green Arrow knowledge. The dialogue felt at times too ME HEAVY but that's to be expected given I had a large part in fixing the issue up to help you out. I do like that Zatanna takes the role of the "family/downtime" aspect for the issue. Balances well with what the Birds are doing on the boat instead of the title's usual lets try to have everyone talk their way through a scene.
Not quite sure how I feel about Fate. When I see old man Fate, I think Kent Nelson, not Hector Hall. Don't know where that's going so maybe it's all an act. I think the generation gap between Zatanna and Zatara is nice way to ultimatize the characters. It's also a new creative direction for you where it's not the parent who was someone. Very interested to see how that plays out and how Zee plays in the title itself.
I wonder why Cheshire took the pictures... ^_^
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Feb 1, 2014 19:30:00 GMT -5
I have to echo everything Wachter said. This was a great issue! My favorite you've written, period.
My only major complaint was that I was a bit confused by Zatanna's bit if she was actually a magician or just an entertainer (for now).
8/10.
|
|
|
Post by superecwfan1 on Feb 15, 2014 0:41:49 GMT -5
I checked out #1 of Birds of Prey. I really love the characters and dialogue you did here. It was pretty solid with them all training and learning from their parents. I did enjoy that aspect. I also liked the introduction of Jason.
Of course a big problem in #1 is.... you really don't introduce the characters and describe them much. Giving them a lot of space to be introduced. When we see Jason even I debated ...is this Jason Todd , Jason Bard ? So I hope the next few issues have breaks to give these people more ..of a description as a character and all.
|
|