What a Great Guy!: A Discussion of Ultimate Lantern

[thejellyfish]

So, I finally finished Ultimate Lantern #1. I'm going to put it up either tonight or tomorrow. Preferably, I would like someone to read over it and tell me if it okay, but if not, I'll do a few more readings of it to spot any errors.

[thejellyfish]

Issue #1- Reset and Ruin, is up now! Check it out.

[buck]

Not a bad issue and I can definitely see where you are going with the series and I like it. However, you need to sit down and explore the character more you are doing too much telling not enough showing. It's causing your pacing to be off. You tell us guy's brother and sister helped him get back on his feet, but how did they do that? The real parents of the kid are said to be bad people, but nothing is shown of them being bad till the end of the issue some sort of lead up would've worked in your favor. You are doing a character focused title, but you are speeding through things so fast that you aren't driving the story with the characters. I see a glimmer of what this title can be, but needs to be refined more. I'm looking forward to issue #2 and I hope you take the advice I laid out for you.

[Stardrifter]

I agree with Buck. Not a bad start, but needs work. You have the first person down pretty well. Not my favorite style but you do it fine.

This take on Guy is strange to me. Obviously this is Ultimate and can be different, but a social worker? Because kids, especially troubled kids, NEVER make anyone mad.

If I had one major critique it would be the exposition at the beginning. I understand you needed to explain how Guy got from the GL series to here, but I think you missed out on some interesting character stories by skipping all that. It would have been nice to see some of his transition. To see how his family helped him and his struggle with his anger.

But in the end it was a competent first issue with an interesting premise. Keep em coming.

[Drake]

I liked it. I don't feel like repeating anything that's been said before, but over all it was very good. Your tone fits the story well, and your take on Guy is different and refreshing.

7.75/10

[adrini]

I actually really liked this one. Very well done.

Green Lantern is one of my all time favs and you pegged guy and john. Very well done. Guy is getting his life together which I love, proactive, self aware characters. Hell yes. How can they save anyone else if they can't save themselves?

I love the plot. It's building the characters, and any plot needs that base. Don't take as long as I did to make the jump, and I don't think you will, and this can be really good. Color me impressed.

Eagerly awaiting more.

[liquidsword34]

I don't want to repeat what everybody else has said, but I'd pretty much agree with all of it. I can you could do a bit more showing, instead of just Guy telling us about his life, but at the same time it's the first issue, and you managed to paint a picture of what Guy's like which is the most important thing. Good job.

[thejellyfish]

Looking back, I agree with you guys. I should've showed more, told less. The exposition dump at the beginning was a bad choice. Or maybe not so much bad, as "not necessary" might be better. I had a lot planned for the first issue and when I started writing, got pushed back or dropped completely (I only dropped one thing, but I feel that it was good that I did so). This is why I took so long with the issue.

For anyone who thinks that this isn't Guy, or at least not the Guy you're used to, well get ready. I plan on fully showing how being a Lantern affects Guy, his family, his co-workers, and his city.

Sorry, I was missing for awhile, I am back in the swing of things and will get started on New Warriors (at All Star Marvel for anyone interested), Lantern #2, and another thing I'm doing that I don't think has quite been announced yet, but I'm sure people know about anyway.