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Post by Stardrifter on May 26, 2014 16:00:14 GMT -5
So I finished the rough draft of #1 and will polish it up for release before the week is out. This will be a continuation of Demon Knights, so if you haven't I suggest you read my Demon Knights series. If you really don't want to, there will be a short recap along with #1.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 1, 2014 16:27:45 GMT -5
We hit the ground running with #1 - Dangerous Allies!
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Post by Drake on Jun 1, 2014 17:35:44 GMT -5
So, that was a great issue. You did a really good job making it accessible, even without the "what came before" type prologue. The opening scene was intriguing and exciting, but if confused me why Heaven would simply stand by and let Hell wage war against Earth.
Later, that second scene was action packed and cool, and it reintroduced all of your old characters well, but it just felt...I don't know, decompressed. The entire issue felt a little on the short side. I know I can't talk, haha, but at least as a reader here I felt like there should have been more going on. That cliff hanger though...it got me excited! I'm a big fan of Cap M, even though I dropped his title in the past, and I look forward to where you take this title and his character!
I think this was a good first issue, but I wouldn't rank it as highly as Aquaman or HC. It barely beats out Demon Knights #1, and that's only because Dawn finally stepping up and being bad ass was exciting as a reader of your old title. This really felt like the second in a series of a movies, if you catch my drift. Demon Knights was the Batman Begins of sorts, and this feels like it could be the Dark Knight.
Anyway, off that meds-induced rant thing, and onto the score. 8/10
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 1, 2014 17:58:45 GMT -5
It is a bit short for me. Partially by choice and partially by time constraints. Having this be a continuation of DK, I really wanted this first arc to just hit the ground running with out having to explain too much. To just be an action packed romp as the team forms. The problem with that is I find too much prose action to get a bit dull, so I did the issue shorter than I normally would. For better or worse.
As for the Spectre's comment, there are reasons. As we see, Shazam and Phantom Stranger obviously don't agree and feel betrayed.
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Post by buck on Jun 3, 2014 22:40:19 GMT -5
Solid start to this series.
You jumped right back into the character's like you never left. Just from the early appearance I think I'm going to like you writing Captain Marvel. He seems like you are going to write him a lot lighter then he has been done here on the site and in the comics lately which I really appreciate.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 5, 2014 22:30:16 GMT -5
Thanks for the review. My CM is going to be very light and a bit cheesy. I'm excited to play out his interactions with the rest of the group. And the reason behind it all...
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Post by Ultimate Silentking on Jun 16, 2014 13:23:05 GMT -5
Best chapter ever! Loved everything about it! 10/10! It is so great to see this series back even under a new name.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 24, 2014 20:54:49 GMT -5
Finished the draft for #2 tonight. Will proofread and edit and have it up tomorrow night!
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 25, 2014 22:42:29 GMT -5
And it's up!
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Post by Drake on Jun 26, 2014 11:27:34 GMT -5
It was pretty good. I don't know. Maybe it's the sort of thematic mood I'm in but I wasn't really feeling this chapter. Your characterization is spot on and I look forward to finding out the truth about Lori. My only legitimate gripe is that Lori is a little whiney. I mean, maybe I'm just used to people getting over this stuff relatively quickly, and in a relatively cry-less way, but I'm just kind of annoyed by her incessant crying and whining.
7.5/10
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 26, 2014 14:07:19 GMT -5
She's a sixteen year old kid man. Do you really think even you would take having armies of demons from Hell hunting you, killing your classmates, and a group of strangers whiskin you off to a magical bar with a stiff upper lip. Keep in mind this has all taken place in probably less than or about an hour.
I did consider while I was writing this that Lori is kind of just a prop right now, but she's an emotional wreck. Her world was just turned upside down and it'd be a lot to expect the best of us to handle it well. At best we'd be in shock and wouldn't register our feelings until we felt safe. Which is why she didn't break down and cry until the end.
That said, that moment is about her lowest point right now and between Dawn's assurance and what comes next issue, she'll start to come around. Heck, it'll probably still be faster than anyone in reality would. But I wanted to try and be somewhat realistic with her emotions.
Thanks for the review btw.
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Post by Drake on Jun 26, 2014 14:27:12 GMT -5
Yeah, no problem.
It makes sense. Like I said, I think I'm just used to unrealistic reactions to crap like this. I think this is more of a 'me not you' situation. I mostly counted off on my score because I just wasn't that excited about the issue. Nothing new really happened.
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Post by adrini on Jun 26, 2014 19:56:28 GMT -5
I'm wondering where people are getting the "nothing happened". A ton happened. Seriously.
Im new to the characters, forgive me, but I liked it. I didn't see the new girl as whining. Her school got totaled and she fought a demon. She's freaked, I'd be more concerned if she wasn't.
Shazam was cheesy, but that's the shazam we know and love. I liked the confusion, of course if you see a demon you assume it's evil. Who wouldn't?
It's a good build. Well done.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 26, 2014 20:54:00 GMT -5
Thank you.
And as far as Captain Marvel's cheesiness goes, I'll just say that it's both on purpose and for a reason. You'll all find out why he is the way he is.
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Post by adrini on Jun 26, 2014 22:32:57 GMT -5
Honestly it's refreshing. The comics (arrow, Gotham, new 52) are all getting very realistic. These are comic books, silver age levels should probably be avoided, but some level of it is almost needed.
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Post by buck on Jun 28, 2014 0:53:28 GMT -5
Bravo.
That issue was great. I loved the fact you went to one of the longest running tropes in comic books of the first meeting between two heroes resulting in a fight. That's something I don't think we've seen on this site so was refreshing even though it's something that's been done to death in other forms.
The fight itself was nicely done. You portrayed the destruction of two heroes fighting better then anything I've seen on the site. Everyone else glosses over it for the most part, but you keep an eye on the collateral damage which makes for a nice touch.
So again kudos man and keep it going.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Jul 3, 2014 7:41:55 GMT -5
This brings back memories. Good Ol' Demon Knights. The first completed post-reboot title.
The first chapters don't disappoint. As you said, you hit the ground running with the action. I was worried from discussions that this would be one bloody gorey scene after another of students and teachers getting slaughtered. While I'm sure a lot of that happened off-screen, I'm nontheless grateful we didn't get Hellraiser in written form.
Despite the fast-paced opening and timeskip, it doesn't seem like you short-changed any of the characters from Demon Knights. I'd like to see more development of certain new characters, especially Captain Marvel, but I wouldn't expect that in only the second chapter.
Lori wasn't whiny, she just went through a horror movie where a lot of people she knew were violently murdered by demons. Her reaction is normal and well-written.
With all the magic world getting involved, let me know if you want any of the appropriate characters from my line, like Circe or the Olympians, to make an appearance.
I also found one noticeable error I think. When Etrigan almost reverts in the first chapter, he starts a different verse than the one he uses in the second chapter.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jul 3, 2014 8:13:33 GMT -5
You're probably right about that mix up. I wrote the end of the first issue from my head and then in the second issue I went back to get the exact quote, not even thinking I might have done the first one wrong. I'll fix that later on.
And yeah I have to work on Iron Man first but I planned to PM you about something for issue 3.
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Post by Stardrifter on Aug 3, 2014 22:50:47 GMT -5
Well I lied about not getting it up tonight. This one is longer than I expected. When I got to writing it I realized I had more than I anticipated to finish this first arc.
Let me know what you think.
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Post by Drake on Aug 11, 2014 22:24:51 GMT -5
That was a long issue, but it was fun! It's definitely my favorite so far! The plot moved briskly and there was some much needed humor. Lori's powers are interesting, but I feel as if it makes Dawn feel a little cheap. Wasn't she supposed to be the Chosen One? Anyway, nice job. 9/10
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