|
Post by cross on Nov 4, 2013 13:59:21 GMT -5
Here is the place to review my title in the Ultimate DC Universe. Let me know what you all thought.
|
|
|
Post by DiscipleofBob on Nov 4, 2013 18:27:52 GMT -5
I'm seeing a lot of names here I recognize as major DC characters that aren't on your claims list. Chuck Brown (aka Kite Man), Victor Stone (aka Cyborg). I doubt these are just coincidental names, and even if they were OC's as major characters are not allowed. These would have been approved if you had claimed them. I'm assuming this is just some confusion, so let me make this clear:
Your claims list includes ALL characters you intend to use, whether they're heroes, villains, or support characters. You cannot use a character if they are not claimed.
You also cannot make additional claims until you have at least two issues out.
I assume this was just some confusion with the rules, so I'll let it slide, provided you give me an updated, COMPLETE claims list and I approve it. After that, any additional claims must be made the normal way (after you have two issues, you can make up to two claims per month provided you have already posted an issue for that month).
That being said, on with the review.
The good news is that it's fast-paced and not bogged down with heavy exposition. The bad news is that, other than the murder scene and the very ending, a lot of it was nothing but trivial exposition. The characters don't have a lot of personality, we just have a wrestling fan with some passing interest in parkour, a kid who invented a wingsuit (which, by the way, if he used it to get into college is going to make having a secret identity difficult if he starts using it as a vigilante), and a jock. They all get along together, laugh at each other's jokes, have apparently perfectly normal lives, and other than their names can barely be told apart. From the title, Outsiders, I would expect the main characters to be outsiders. Outcasts. The undesirables who actually have problems at school. Maybe Bilal is a wrestling fan but maybe he also lives in a tough neighborhood and gets into fights with hoodlums and gang members. Maybe Tim's genius invention has earned him "nerd" status in the eyes of the other students, or maybe his "full scholarship" has the envy of other students who wish him harm. Maybe Virgil is still the fresh meat on the football team and gets pushed around.
These are just some possible examples, but something that would give us the feeling that these characters are troubled and three-dimensional. These characters feel a bit too normal to be able to accept them later as extraordinary.
The murder scene was good, but could have used a bit more atmosphere. By that I don't mean gory details, but just a but more description of the surroundings to set the mood for the whiplash it causes between the two normal parts.
|
|
|
Post by cross on Nov 4, 2013 19:35:09 GMT -5
Shit I apologize for the confusion with claims. I can tell you right now that victor stone was just a fun Easter egg. Chuck Brown will be claimed in my fixed version of my claims. Once again, sorry.
As for the one dimensional characters, I'm just introducing them now. Trust me, they will have their faults and their reasons for being Outsiders.
Thanks for the help/review.
|
|
|
Post by jordan on Dec 13, 2013 11:35:50 GMT -5
So I finally read Outsiders! Where it isn't the best comic ever, I am enjoying it so far. As opposed to Disciple's view, I don't mind your characterizations yet. I understand that what we are seeing is not their entire fleshed out personalities, and I look forward to seeing them come into those personalities in time, so don't rush it. Overall, 6.9/10. Keep it up.
|
|
|
Post by Stardrifter on Dec 24, 2013 21:43:21 GMT -5
Not a bad start. A lot of it hinged on the fact that we know who these characters are. Except for the murder, nothing here would really stand out for a new reader. Nothing says super hero. Nothing really says anything about where the series is going, except college life.
One thing, it was already established in Demon Knights that the GU football team is the Gotham Knights.
Keep em coming.
|
|