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Post by unchartedfan1 on Dec 28, 2012 13:19:24 GMT -5
The New Year's Special will be up either as soon as my most recent post in the claims thread is answered, or New Year's Eve hits...whichever one comes first. Issue #1 will be out...early Janurary maybe.
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Post by unchartedfan1 on Dec 31, 2012 11:48:37 GMT -5
The NYS is up and I hope you guys love it. Issue #1 should be out next week. This issue is a little short, but really shows where I want to go with the series.
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Post by Drake on Dec 31, 2012 13:03:56 GMT -5
I read it and very much enjoyed it. My only real issue with it was that it felt short and there were some grammar errors that screwed up the flow of the story. I think this is definitely your best issue yet. 7.8/10. Just shy of greatness.
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Post by Stardrifter on Dec 31, 2012 14:32:31 GMT -5
Was an interesting start. There was some glaring errors that screwed the story up. Like the man who broke Goldface and Psycho Pirate out of jail. Something was off, but we never know what.
Other than that, my biggest criticism is it's rushed. The scenes needed time to breathe. Like the jail scene, Goldface is very quick to open up to Pirate with little concern or comment about the situation.
The premise us interesting, just needs more work. Keep em coming.
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Post by unchartedfan1 on Dec 31, 2012 16:38:23 GMT -5
Was an interesting start. There was some glaring errors that screwed the story up. Like the man who broke Goldface and Psycho Pirate out of jail. Something was off, but we never know what. That isn't really a glaring error...it's a mystery that is actually slightly explained in the issue. |
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Post by Stardrifter on Dec 31, 2012 18:20:23 GMT -5
This is what I was referring to. The man’s was off. Neither Halstead nor Goldface could pinpoint it exactly, but it was off. It made Goldface’s blood run cold and he gave a little shiver. The man's what was off? What was "it" they couldn't pinpoint, but "it" was off? "It" what made Goldface's blood run cold? |
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Post by Drake on Dec 31, 2012 21:35:38 GMT -5
I did think something else you could have improved. More descriptions of the characters. As I'm unfamiliar with most of them it caused me to be quite confused and I even had to look them up to figure it out.
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Post by unchartedfan1 on Jan 1, 2013 0:55:00 GMT -5
I fixed that. It was supposed to be "the man's face" but didn't turn out right. Sorry for that. And I will take note of the descriptions comment.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Jan 1, 2013 21:22:07 GMT -5
It felt very rushed, there were a lot of obvious errors (Thrown instead of throne) which I'm surprised weren't caught in the proof read. You're putting out issues very quickly one after another and it's noticeable because they seem rushed. If you spent more time on each issue just to fix the small errors it would go a long way.
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Post by Ultimate Silentking on Jan 4, 2013 20:24:53 GMT -5
It started off good. But then the errors made it hard to enjoy near the end. My favorite scene was Noah's Kuttler's. Also, it was short like everyone said. 7.5/10 Because the spelling and grammar mistakes really took me out of it near the end. Also, everything except Kuttler's was just kind of average. Again, Kuttler's scene was the best part of the issue for me.
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Post by jackalope on Jan 16, 2013 7:33:33 GMT -5
I really enjoyed it. The first half especially was written really well. It seems like it's going to be an interesting mix of characters. Look forward to seeing how this plays into things. Good work.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Feb 1, 2013 11:22:32 GMT -5
It looks like there's been some editing since you first posted this, and it shows.
Ronald Raymond's bit at the beginning is interesting and intriguing.
Noah Kuttler's bit annoys me greatly. Is it just me or does every classroom setting on the site end up with the character in question telling off the teacher. It really is just a weird scene that doesn't look like it could ever happen between two actual personalities. By the way, I hope Noah Kuttler has a top hat and monocle, because with phrases like "my good man" and "good day sir" I can no longer picture him any other way.
The bit between Goldface and Psycho Pirate is definitely interesting. The dynamic in their conversation is really good.
Libra, well, Libra didn't do much other than declare himself leader, but maybe we'll get more from later chapters.
Would be 8/10, except for Noah Kuttler who makes it 7/10.
o_q
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