Ultimate Brave and the Bold #0: This Season On...

[The Wonderful Wachter]

Ultimate Brave and the Bold #0

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This Season On…[/b]
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Seigelville, Texas



Blue VS Red? Scarab VS Beetle?

Horror filled Ted’s heart as he watched the TV-screen before him. A monster rampaged through the city, reminiscent of all three Blue Beetles yet distinctly different in one single aspect. It was red. A Scarlet Scarab.

Laid up in the hospital as he was, there was nothing he could do. He could only watch as the other heroes, men and women he helped convince to be reality stars fell beneath the might of the beast. They were nothing before the Scarlet Scarab’s might. Not even Jaime who looked to be having a difficult time ordering his armor to fight.

And Ted thought he knew why.

His body screamed in pain when Ted forced himself out of bed onto unsteady legs, holding up a broken body. This was entirely his fault. The blame fell on his shoulders. The heroes, the villains. He should have listened to Booster when he had the chance. He never should have hid the truth from everyone, of his dark experiments on the Scarab prior to Jaime’s selection.

He reached into his mouth and yanked out a tooth, tasting blood. Probably smart of him to plan for this contingency. Ted looked at the tooth that was no tooth. It was a transmitter. One single click and he’d have his way out.

Click

Three minutes later, the zipline for his Bug hung outside his hospital window. Every step brought pain but still he walked. Ted would help his friends. He would don the Blue Beetle suit once more. No. He would don a better suit, one meant for a last resort.

He would stop the man he called his greatest hero. He had to stop the monster he created.





Whatever happened to the Waterbearer?

A hero had been brought to his knees. Kal, better known as Kaldur the Water-bearer, could no longer shrug off the bullets now piercing his skin. He could no longer fight off the sedative now coursing through his veins. Even as the fake gills fell from his neck and his webbed fingers came unglued, he tried to rise, to fight. This wasn’t what he had wanted. To be a hero was not his lot in life or so he thought.

Then the strange package arrived with the Water-bearers inside. They awoke his latent abilities. Made him more powerful with every passing day. Made him more vulnerable with every second.

He whipped one back at the line of approaching foes to no effect, the wave vanishing on the spot. They were strange beings, dressed in silver, white and gray outfits that reminded him of hazmat suits. Some carried assault rifles and machine guns. Some had something worse… intense heat lamps that evaporated all the water in the air and drained Kal of his powers, of his strength. Odd gas masks covered their faces. Even odder tanks were on their backs. From before the jamming of his signal back to the station, he knew him to be their only targets.

Were they after him? Were they after his Water-bearers and the waterpack? Where were the Baby-bug cameras? Shouldn’t one of his fellow heroes arrived have arrived by now?

It was weird, he thought as he fell completely to the floor. It was like the city had undergone a sickness overnight. Doll creatures appeared everywhere, infecting entire populations as suicide germ bombs. Turned them into lifeless creatures… or worse, monsters.

One of the Hazmat men stood above him, a gun in his hand. Kal knew at any other time, he could tank the shot but not now. Not now. Still, he reached out with strength weaker than the smallest child, grasping an ankle.

He was a hero.

He was Kaldur the Water-Bearer.

He would not go down without a fight.

BAM!!!







Is Batwoman family-friendly?

An alien is rampaging through the city and it’s already taken down Booster and Kal. I’m totally screwed.

A glider swooped through Seigelville, atop it perched the lovely Kate Kane attired in her formfitting Batwoman costume. Weaving pass skyscrapers and flag poles, she came across a warzone. Booster was chained to the ground somehow by a car door fused with cement. A hundred feet away, the ground had given way, leaving Kaldur in a crater slowly filling with sewer water. Disgusting as it was, she knew there was no need to worry about him. Soon he’d heal and probably come back stronger than ever. Which left her with distraction duty.

Not gonna get any points for this.

High powered beams of energy shot out of the glider’s wing tips while a single spiraling missile followed slowly behind. Their target was the lone figure swinging a lightpole down on a pizza place that Kate loved to bring her cousin to. Her uncle would complain about the bill but when there’s an insane alien on the loose, you have to pull out all the stops.

The smoke cleared and the alien stood in a small crater fuming literally with smoking. Suddenly, brilliantly glowing eyes later, Batwoman found her glider destroyed and a hand choking the life out of her. Such strength behind those hands. No wonder Booster had gone down like a chump.

“@*#%# ^) ^^$)S+#(?!”

“I..” Kate was choking she couldn’t breathe. It felt like a single flex would send her head plummeting to the ground below. “Don’t! Speak! Alien!”

Batwoman saw a creature before her despite blackening vision and she knew the cameras in her cowl picked it up just as well. Orange skin that looked so natural and smooth. Vibrant and illuminating emerald eyes. Hair darker than space. The alien was distinctly feminine or at least looked like a human woman. The beings chest heaved beneath a shining, almost leathery black bodice. The same polymer made up her thigh-high boots and elbow length fingerless gloves. This being radiated dominance and sex appeal.

“@*#%# ^) ^^$)S+#(?!” shouted the alien again, eyes and gems on her gloves glowing blindingly bright.

Kate tried to shake her head again.

Finally the creature understood and with amazing tenderness, brought her free arm around the small of Kate’s back and drew their bodies close. The built-in-systems of Kate’s suit did nothing to cool the rising heat in her chest. The two were pressed closed, hovering high in the air over city. The hand choking her left her neck and instead lifted her chin up like a lover would. Their lips were inches apart. Then centimeters

Millimeters.

It was the sweetest kiss Kate had ever tasted. It somehow made her breath return even as it took away her air again. The lovely alien kissed her for a long while, tongue playing at Kate’s lips, seeking entrance into a gasping mouth. It was some greeting.

Regret filled Kate when the being stopped, returning tongues to their respective mouths. She couldn’t think of anything but that kiss. Of anything but the creature no human female could hope to top.

“Now where is my sister?!”





Can the Greatest Hero The World Has Never Known Until Now truly save us?

“That man has his head on fire.”

“That is right, sir.”

“He’s not supposed to be here.”

“Correct, sir.”

“I forgot his name. Didn’t Batman IV or V flashfreeze his head and put it on display?”

“Phosphorus Rex, sir.”

Booster’s entire body shook with a lifelong sigh. A butterfly’s wings it seemed. Fix one mistake and another happened. The Circus of Strange, once meant to be a Batfamily set of Rogues with no Batfamily to screw with, had chosen this city to infect. Probably brought here at the behest of the Thousand or the Royal Flush Gang. Skeets probability prediction programming had said Seigelville would be one of the most important cities in this new universe, one he had to save at all costs.

But the Circus of Strange? Shouldn’t they have been given to the Flash or maybe Starman? Damn it all. This was worse than Blackfire’s unexpected familial heel turn.

“God, I hate this Earth’s Batman.” Booster exclaimed with another body-shaking sigh, knowing Skeets as his camera man had already hacked the systems back to the studio so that they sounded like they were having an entirely different conversation. “Worse than that Owlwoman who took me on as a sex slave.”

“She had a very pretty beak according to the locals, sir.” Skeets zoomed off, stunning a Dollotron that was getting too close. “I believe Grayson may have taken his place on this Earth, sir.”

“Lot of good it does me.” Booster punched a screwed up raggedy Anne looking thing in the face to knock it out. “You did say I’m immune to the Pyg Virus, right?”

“Correct sir.”

“Hmmm. Maybe I can get Ted to create an aerosol version of a vaccine from my blood.”

“I recommend against it. The final cure was crafted in the twenty-third century. Should we do so now odds are—“

“Don’t tell me the odds. It’d only make me angry.”

Booster rushed through the armada of Dollotrons. Shouldering through them and sending them flying without worry. They couldn’t even be considered truly people anymore. It couldn’t be reversed, at least not yet. They were living bombs meant to give Pyg complete control over the city. He closelined one, speared another, and sent an energy blast at yet a third. His goal was Phosophorus Rex in his oldstyle suit and bow-tie that was controlling the living machines.

The flaming man clapped his hands in amusement. “G’job, lad.” Flames roared towards Booster. “But you can’t hurt me. I’m on fire you see—“ His voice died off as he found the hero’s palm in his face. “You can’t kill me either!” he cried like a coward.

“That’s right, but I can do this.” The fire extinguisher feature built into Booster’s suit let loose its burst of foam to dull the fires. “And this.” A powerful right hook sent Rex flying off his feet.

“Good job, sir.”

“Thanks, Skeets. Where to now?”

Brave and the Bold, his idea, Ted’s execution. He had come here to save this world. Not like he had in the past, wanting to be famous and rich. His old friends would be happy to know his current goal in life. Yet… Some things seemed to be fixed. He would always be a walking endorsement. But others, the butterflies he thought of, caused unpredictable changes in the fabric of reality.

This isn’t my Earth nor is it my time. But I swear to protect it like I is. No Justice Leaguer could do any less.






A new Blue Beetle?

I can fly! I can fly! Oh crap. That’s a wall!

Jaime Reyes crushed through a building with surprising force, feeling nothing until he was on the other side of structure, gray dust rushing off his newly formed armor. Mere minutes ago he had been on a tour of Kord Electronics when alarms blared and the guide had tried shepherding them to some place safe. He had followed like the semi-good student he was when a skittering in a vent above him caused him to stop and look up.

It was like a giant, blue tick had fallen from the now open airduct and latched itself on his back. But it hadn’t sucked his blood. It hadn’t really done anything. Then there had been the sting. Quickly followed by a voice invading his mind and imagination. All this before he had the commonsense to scream for help.

Blue and black armor had erupted from his back. Wings followed that. A strange helmet, more a second skin than something metal, fused itself to his face and just as suddenly he saw the world in a new light. And heard that voice that had invaded his mind. Still faint, but there.

His body was stolen from him at that moment. Not that he cared. He was a Beetleborg with wings racing across Seigelville in the direction of flying choppers and the sound of battle. It was so epically awesome a feeling that he forgot all about not being in control. Up until he had crashed through a building that is.

Cannons burst from Jaime’s arms. The voice tilted his head down to focus on over a hundred beings in maroon swarming about a single man in blue. Around him were the helicopters. Below him were the beings and zooming baby-bug cameras Jaime recognized from Behind the Scenes with Brave and the Bold. It was literally Hero Time TV.

Which meant the single man in blue had to be the Blue Beetle and he was soon becoming lost beneath the wave of maroon.

Brilliant white energy erupted forth from his arm cannons. The maroon sea more than parted. It flat out vanished in some cases and was tossed across the street in others. Jaime was horrified at what he had done. He, the suit, he couldn’t keep track had just murdered dozens of people. Yet, the feeling lessened when the voice told him they weren’t real. Merely copies.

Jaime rocketed down to the street, leaving another crater as he landed and destroying even more of the clones. Instantly, a sphere of shining azure exploded out of the armor, protecting him in a force field that electrified all those who touched it now that he had been noticed. His immediate area clear, the cannons and field vanished only to be replaced with a massive sword glowing cerulean.

The armor cleaved its way through the sea of foes too numerous to count, shrugging off the potshots of occasional gunfire. The voice told him they had to save the Blue Beetle. That they had to save… Ted? A massive swing, a haymaker with ten foot blade, cleared a pile off his favorite hero. Suit torn, but chest still rising in breath, Beetle lay there.

Before his eyes, a HUD took readings of Beetle’s body in a language that Jaime could now innately understand. His hero would survive. But when those eyes opened, his heart raced and rage filled Ted. How could the armor know such things?

“Danni?” whispered a broken Blue Beetle.

“No,” Jaime was surprised to be able to move his own mouth. Even more surprised that the armor moved with him, showing teeth. “I think I’m just here for the ride.”

“The scarab has chosen then,” Ted muttered mostly to himself. He clicked on something on his belt and from across the way zoomed his Beetle-Gun into a waiting glove. “I’m not the right successor but it brought you here to save me no doubt.” A circle of duplicates had moved to surround the pair of Blue Beetles. “Well, get to saving.”

The voice in his head spoke clearly for the first time. ”!#% SER!@@# SDR”

“If you say so,” Jaime answered, happy he had his body back. Feeling like a samurai more than a knight, he split the sword into two smaller ones. Seemed the voice was right.

“I do say so, “ stated Ted, bruised and unsteady but ready to fight. He obviously thought Jaime was talking to him. “We call him Numerous. You can see why.”

Together, Jaime and Ted proved why two beetles were better than one. Swords and concussive gun worked in tandem to clear the field. And soon enough, Numerous became Nothing.







Whose side is Cheshire on?

“<She wants me.>” Minos exclaimed taking down an android member of the 1000 on his own. Rapid punches crushed its chest in mere seconds, leaving only a smoking carcass on his own.

“Nah,” looking like a pumped up gorilla with the legs of a child, Más smashed two of the robots together. “<She wants me.>”

Listening in from afar, using the translation software built into her mask rather than wasting brain power, Cheshire smiled deviously. Her tactic was working perfectly. A divided Más y Minos made things better for all the other heroes. Especially herself. Though when they worked in tangent, their points only counted for half, as solo fighters they lessened the chance of leaving the others behind despite their still great individual powers.

“<Boys,> Cheshire taunted, phasing a 1000 into the ground then stabbing her sai through the circuitry in its head. “<I prefer my men to be strong, powerful. I want them to be able to take me in their arms and just ravish my body.>”

As Speedsters, though with no affiliation with the Flash-family, the South American born heroes stood still for all of three seconds, images passing through their heads, replaying and expanding on what Cheshire had said. It gave her the time to take down three more androids by herself and when finished, she activated her camouflage to sneak towards the unmoving side of Minos.

Cheshire lifted up her mask ever so slightly, whispering into his ear. “<Do you think you could handle me?>” She planted a kiss on his cheek and left behind the mark of her green lipstick.

Vanishing again, she was beside his brother. On him, she kissed him fully on the lips. “<Or do you?>”

The effect was instantaneous. Instead of breaking down into infighting, the brothers lost their ties together and were forced to rely on only what they could conjure themselves.

Probably wouldn’t give her any fans from the female population this week but… a phased glove exploded the head of another 1000. Who needed them when she would get all the points the twins were losing. Teams were overrated. All she needed were her sais and powers.

Or not.

With a roar, Más repulsed a line of over a dozen of the 1000, sending them splattering into cars buildings without care. Minos did the opposite, summoning them to his side, as if to have them all attack him at once, only for them to crash into each other. He walked out of the resulting explosion unphased and unhurt.

"¡Más y Menos, sí podemos!"



Who is the Crownless King?

As it turned out, Mr. Toad was not a slip-slip-slippery customer. The green-skinned dwarf with unusual eyes, a frayed suit from the thirties, and a major issue with bodily hygiene was tied unmoving in a dark, empty room. He couldn’t hear anything. He couldn’t slip through his bindings despite being a trained escape artist. There was nothing he could do.

“I’m telling you nant!” he screamed at would-be tormentors and/or cameras. Not that he could see either one through his blindfold. “Where’s my dinnah?!?”

Mr. Toad had been there for who knew how long. He had been caught on a delivery. At first, he thought it was one of the heroes but he quickly realized no hero would do this to him. They wouldn’t let him go hours let alone what felt like days without eating. They wouldn’t leave him in solitary in a room that felt nothing like a prison. It just wasn’t the legal way things were down.

Blue and red light filled the room, bright enough that the green dwarf could see it through the blindfold. The red light stabbed through his head and cut through the garment. Toad didn’t care that he could now see because he could more than see. He saw his past, his every sin, every foul deed. How he stabbed that boy to death when he was 7 for making fun of his skin. How he used Pyg’s drug to on women every day he did not have to work to make them his sex slaves because no other woman would touch him without an insane price. Everything thing he had never atoned for flashed before his now seeing eyes.

The red light was pulled back to reveal a figure glowing in crimson and azure fire. He looked like some ancient knight from some ancient order. A hood hid his face but the fire showed a mask more frightening than anything Toad could think of in his terrified state. It took seconds for him to realize the strange flames came from twin swords.

“Toad,” sneered the dark knight, “What’s Pyg’s plan?”

Toad bit his tongue.

The figure stabbed the red fiery sword back through his head and Toad lost the fight not to scream. Not because of the pain since the act should have killed him but instead from the foul memories it brought on. More sins played across his eyes until he was left crying, as tortured as any of his victims.

“How do you like my sword, Toad?” taunted the masked figure. “I can see it all. Your poor little mother, you killed her in her sleep. And your father,” the knight gasped in mock horror, “you fed him his own manhood as revenge for siring a creature like you.”

The sword left Toad’s head, leaving him breathless and unsure if it’d ever return.

“But my other sword is even better.” The azure saber pierced Toad’s chest. “Have you ever stuck your own finger up your ass?” Laughter echoed about the room. “You mouth wants to say no but your heart says yes. And it says it felt good.”

Crying in humiliation that he had not felt since he was a small child, Toad hung his head in shame. “I don’t know nothing you minger.”

“You really want to do this the fun way don’t you, Mr Toad? I mean, I haven’t even shown you what the swords can do together.”

“I want my dinnah!!!”

A sigh. “Very well, Mr. Toad. You could have it done this the easy way.”

Both swords stabbed the green creature at the same instant, the power and thoughts behind the blow enough to make Toad soil himself. Memories and answers, revelations and every half truth played across the foul creatures mind. He could feel the armored figure searching through it all, almost with boredom. Yet there were stops along the way. Certain memories meant simply to hurt Toad as the wielder manipulated his emotions to make him feel what his victims felt.

Piss soon joined his waste.

“Hmm. He hopes to betray the Royal Flush Gang, does he? That could be unhealthy for him but work in my favor. And that drug he is distributing. A smarter, saner man would keep the profits for himself. Not terrorize a city.”

Lazily, the knight swept the searing sabers through Mr. Toad’s body time and time again. Sins intermingled with truth now that the being had his answers. It was done for fun, to torture Toad as he had done to so many in his lifetime. His foul, worthless lifetime.

Finally bored of it all, the swordman let the blades fall to the carpet. “Thank you for your time, Mr. Toad. And I’m sorry but you won’t be getting your dinnah.” In a flash, both swords crossed and scissored Toad’s head off his shoulders. “But I don’t believe in last requests.”

The Crownless King sheathed his blades in disgust, kicking the criminal’s head away from him. This room would be of no use to him now. There simply would be no way to get the smell out of the carpet.




Wildcat rides again.

The revving of the Cat-Cycle’s engines brought a smile to the veteran JSAer’s lips. Wildcat was ecstatic he had thought to request of Watchtower for his old gear – especially his motorcycle – some weeks back. It had given him just enough to time to get everything back in working order once more since Gordon hadn’t been overly fond of providing maintenance to the motorcycle; his custom cycle over half a century old yet better than anything you could buy today. After all, he had the best minds of every decade help with its design.

Screw the idiots who thought the cat’s face was tacky. She would always be a beauty to him.

Teddy finished wrapping the boxing tape around his fingers, smile still playing at his lips. Sure, he wasn’t a sanctioned hero like those young punks. Or at least hadn’t been for going on two or three decades. But he still knew how to fight. In fact, he had specially trained most of them in the past year and Kord for even longer. No need for a marshal’s badge or a bounty-hunter’s permit or whatever it was they had if he knew how to do the job.

He’d just have to rely on Kord for any legal fees that might result in his interference.

But it wasn’t like he could just sit back and watch Seigelville go to hell in a handbasket. Rex and Jay would never have let him live it down. He was older and more experienced than all seven heroes combined… at least he thought he was but math had never been his strong suit and he had lived many long decades. It was his responsibility, no, it was his duty to help out the kids he helped train.

Wildcat slipped the cat’s cowl over his head for the first time in what felt like years. The engine revved again and he streaked out of the garage.

Today was probably going to be a good day to die.