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Post by thereddeath on Aug 1, 2011 6:32:40 GMT -5
Just put the first chapter up. I labeled it "Chapter Zero" because it's kind of a prologue, but it sets up the world of Atlantis a little bit and character relationships.
Hopefully people enjoy it. I know Aquaman is kind of a hard sell.
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Post by jackalope on Aug 1, 2011 7:34:50 GMT -5
Hey, and a proper welcome. Was a little worried that Aquaman wasn't going to come, but great job, honestly. I really liked the whole set up. As the other major mythical based hero writer here, I'm super interested to see where you take the story, especially with the gods. Let me know if you want to do any crossover arcs at any stage. Will look forward to more- secretly have my fingers crossed that he rides a giant seahorse...
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Post by C_Miller on Aug 1, 2011 7:40:40 GMT -5
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Post by jackalope on Aug 1, 2011 7:44:11 GMT -5
That's where I got it from, ha.
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Post by thereddeath on Aug 1, 2011 8:33:56 GMT -5
There won't be many seahorse references in this story. I'm playing this Aquaman pretty straight.
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Post by buck on Aug 1, 2011 13:10:50 GMT -5
Glad to see you get this one up. Was worried about Aquaman getting some love on the board. Good first issue can't wait for more.
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Post by thekillingjoke on Aug 1, 2011 13:20:13 GMT -5
Fucking A, man. I was expecting great stuff from a guy calling himself thereddeath and you didn't disappoint. This was epic.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Aug 1, 2011 23:22:26 GMT -5
Excellent description and I'm not so confident in Orin growing a "bear" either. A few paragraphs towards the end turned into walls o' text material but it's not a game killer. Nice read.
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Post by thereddeath on Aug 2, 2011 1:35:04 GMT -5
I fixed the "bear" mistake, but I'm not too concerned about the "walls o' text". It's a narrative. It's supposed to have detailed descriptive paragraphs. "Wall o' text" is a popular Internet criticism for too long posts on message boards, not for actual writing.
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Post by thekillingjoke on Aug 2, 2011 9:33:43 GMT -5
Amen, RD.
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Post by Stardrifter on Aug 2, 2011 16:48:06 GMT -5
I think some of the larger paragraphs could have been broken into shorter paragraphs. Not changing what you wrote, just broken it up a little. I find it makes it easier to follow when reading off a computer screen.
Anyway, I thought it was a great beginning. You did very well introducing Atlantis and some of how it works. I also like the mythological bits and the political drama around the monarchy. Heck, imagine Aquaman and Atlantis with a quasi-Game of Thrones political subterfuge. Could be epic. If that's even what you're going for...
Keep 'em coming.
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Post by blueeyeddevil on Aug 5, 2011 11:08:03 GMT -5
It's a great start, reddeath. Your style was very direct, and your descriptions were good.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Aug 6, 2011 14:39:25 GMT -5
I liked it. It was a brief opening for a #0 start and detailed the change Orin wants to start as leader. It will be interesting to see the role the Gods play in this.
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Post by kardonwire on Aug 23, 2011 16:05:03 GMT -5
Really enjoyed the zero issue. The way you write is pretty sweet and I could really picture the whole thing in my head, looking forward to how the brother dynamic will play out.
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Post by C_Miller on Sept 30, 2011 15:14:17 GMT -5
Okay. Going to bump this since you didn't.
I liked the issue. You certainly have a great ear for description. You really do a great job with painting a picture for the reader. In fact, I'd say that you're the best writer here for that. Then again, most people here go for plot, dialog and internal monolog with their writing rather than lots of description. Doesn't make anyone bad or worse for it, just a different style.
I can't picture Aquaman going completely superhero and personally, I kind of like it that way. I'm definitely digging the swords and sorcery angle that you've done (not sure if that's the word, but there's definitely a LotR/Game of Thrones feeling here).
Keep writing. I hope you can eventually get into a rhythm and post multiple times a month. The wait is really difficult.
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Post by buck on Sept 30, 2011 17:17:27 GMT -5
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
This is so good I agree with Miller though just wish they came out faster. The wait is agonizing.
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Post by jackalope on Sept 30, 2011 23:49:07 GMT -5
Excellent work. Interested to see how Aquaman interacts with the outside world (eventually). Well written stuff.
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Post by Stardrifter on Oct 4, 2011 19:37:11 GMT -5
Was very well done. I am really enjoying your take on Aquaman. I do think you were a little too descriptive for me in the beginning, but not by much. I hope you and jackalope plan to do a crossover with Wonder Woman at some point. The Greek Gods involvement just screams for a crossover. Keep em coming.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Oct 9, 2011 0:32:07 GMT -5
I really enjoyed the latest part of this where Orin faces down a god. Of course the god tells him that as King he doesn't know the challenges that await him or horrors he has protected Atlantis from. So its gonna be interesting to see how it goes.
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