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Post by jasonred11 on Dec 13, 2011 18:36:23 GMT -5
This first installment serves pretty much as a teaser for my first arc. I'm still working on issue one, but I decided that I would write something to put out there to show you what's coming. I hope you enjoy my 0.1 issues.
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Post by jackalope on Dec 15, 2011 3:36:28 GMT -5
Not bad man, short, obviously, but a teaser. Know little about the characters, so interested to see what you do with the story.
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Post by jasonred11 on Dec 15, 2011 17:40:05 GMT -5
Thanks man, I have alot planned for the first six or so issues, so keep reading and you'll learn more about Blackhawk and Savage, obviously.
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Post by someonespc on Dec 16, 2011 14:36:18 GMT -5
I'm interested in seeing where this goes. Can't judge anything from it's first installment.
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Post by jasonred11 on Dec 16, 2011 14:53:45 GMT -5
And I am also looking for someone to edit my first issue.
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Post by jasonred11 on Dec 16, 2011 16:29:35 GMT -5
My first issue is up, and I hope nobody minds the length. I cut some parts down, and others out, but Im hoping to make this issue my standard legnth. You can tell alot more about most of my main characters from this issue.
I look forward to continuing this arc. It will run threw my next five issues, and major revelations will be shown in the fifth and six issues. So keep reading.
Next time look forward to the introduction of the mysterious man from beyond the grave, John Sunlight, and a little more insight of the character of Denny Colt.
Enjoy!
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Post by someonespc on Dec 16, 2011 20:04:16 GMT -5
I like what I'm reading. The only critique is you should read your stuff over when done, to check for errors.
The story was fun and Firestorm is looking deadly.
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Post by jasonred11 on Dec 16, 2011 23:15:53 GMT -5
yea, I decided against the editing part, ill make sure 2 remember next time
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Post by buck on Dec 17, 2011 5:48:56 GMT -5
The length was fine. I'm interested to see where Firestorm threads go. I felt the bit where they were discussing the Golden Tree was just glossed over and could have used some extra time in their conversation about it.
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Post by jasonred11 on Dec 18, 2011 11:13:45 GMT -5
Yeah, like I said, I had to cut some things out and some down or the issue'd be too long. I'll make sure to try and fix their shortend conversation next issue by giving more dialogue about the Tree.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Dec 24, 2011 19:28:27 GMT -5
Yeah I was wondering til the 2nd issue who Clark Savage Jr was . Then the Man of Bronze made me slap my head...Doc Savage lol. I am interested where the Firestorm part goes.
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Post by jackalope on Dec 24, 2011 23:57:53 GMT -5
Well there goes Cuba.
I liked it. Seems like you've got quite an interesting story set out. Look forward top more Mr Sunlight and Savage. We need to make a list on the board of all the nefarious groups in the universe. The Golden Tree seems pretty cool.
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Post by jasonred11 on Dec 27, 2011 3:32:39 GMT -5
My second issue is up, and it's a little short. Sorry about that, but this gives a little more insight on past events the cahracters have shared, and shows you some nice facts about Firestorm.
I hope you enjoy my second issue, and you can look forward to the first appearence of another major character next issue, and some action!
Enjoy!
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Post by buck on Dec 29, 2011 2:37:02 GMT -5
I felt this issue lost a lot of the momentum that was built during the first issue. I was worried initially when you claimed Firestorm as a villain, but I think you are doing some interesting things with the character and can't wait to see them developed. On a side note, I thought the amount of cursing was excessive. Not that it offended me really more along the lines of it just pulling me out of the story.
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Post by jasonred11 on Dec 29, 2011 3:28:45 GMT -5
I debated the amount of cursing, but thats Ham's character, the stereotypical warhardened man, and I thought it worked with the character im attempting to establish. Ill try to cut it down in future issues. And thankyou for the comments about Firestorm, ive always thought that the ultimate nuclear weapon was a wierd hero choice.
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Post by buck on Dec 29, 2011 3:33:55 GMT -5
I felt that it was a conscience choice when I was reading it. I just didn't feel it worked he seemed more like a sterotypical youth from the ghetto then a soldier in my mind.
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Post by jasonred11 on Dec 29, 2011 18:51:39 GMT -5
Alright, thanks, Ill try and fix that in my next issue.
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Post by Stardrifter on Dec 31, 2011 14:05:28 GMT -5
Caught up. Not a bad start. You certainly have a lot of ideas going. My only issue, besides a little proofreading is the pace. I feel like I'm reading cliff notes rather than actual stories. I'd suggest slowing down a bit and fleshing scenes out some more.
Keep em coming.
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