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Post by someonespc on Dec 18, 2011 21:22:59 GMT -5
Issue 1 is up.
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Post by jasonred11 on Dec 19, 2011 0:29:12 GMT -5
That was solid work thhere and I thought you did a good job with defining each character by giving their thoughts on things. Keep up the good work and I look forward to the rest of the story.
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Post by buck on Dec 19, 2011 0:29:28 GMT -5
Just a little bit boring,but that's to be expected with a first issue, and the formatting was off putting. THough I have to say I love the cast of characters you've selected and can't way to see where you go with them.
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Post by C_Miller on Dec 19, 2011 2:59:55 GMT -5
The format was a little hard to follow. If I were to make a recommendation, I'd say make a bigger indication between scene changes like this:
***
or something to that effect or at least have a place heading.
Otherwise, I really enjoyed it. While they were defined a bit "simply" it works for the first issue. I feel like they are all well defined and I know what to expect out of the characters now.
I will say, like buck, I really dig the cast you've assembled. This is what I've been saying about creativity. You didn't have idea circumstances claim wise coming into it, but you made the best of it. Can't wait for more.
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Post by someonespc on Dec 19, 2011 6:08:25 GMT -5
I agree with everyone's critique. This was all establishing things/set-up, could've been issue 0 really. The next issue will be Secret Origins: Solstice.
I'm gonna splice Secret Origin issues between actual issues to help flesh each character out more.
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Post by jackalope on Dec 19, 2011 21:14:47 GMT -5
Sounds good. Have to agree with what was said by others, both good and bad. Kind of wish Tim was younger- just to see how he grows, but I have no doubt you've got good plans for the team.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Dec 23, 2011 6:52:20 GMT -5
Beyond the critique of scene changes and all...... I enjoyed it. I really am intriqued at this team of characters you have put together . It really sounds good on what your doing here. Also liked seeing Damage back. Always nice to see him back on the team. Plus liked the Wildebeest's showing up at the end !
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Post by oberonfrost on Dec 23, 2011 15:38:01 GMT -5
I'm not sold on it yet. Teen titans has always been hit and miss for me. As a friendly piece of advice, work on your sentence structure, you've got tons of run-ons in there, too many for it to have been a style choice. I'm also really against the color-coded dialogue, but that's a personal turnoff.
On the bright side, I mostly like choices you've made for the team. I could've lived without Robin being in there though. Glad to see Damage and Bumblebee though!
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Post by someonespc on Jan 11, 2012 14:57:14 GMT -5
Issue 2 is up and it's kinda short. I'm afraid issue 3 may be as well. So, I'll post that later this month.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Jan 13, 2012 16:21:21 GMT -5
Hehe. Expect a mention when I have the Spoilers pick their name.
It was okay. I'm a big fan of colored thought text. I do like the team assembled even though you took Arrowette before I could. ;_; And I'm curious about where you'll go from here.
I do have one gripe... To make it easier on the eyes considering the site doesn't really do indentetations, you may want to double space between paragraphs. Issue 2 was difficult to read because of that.
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Post by someonespc on Jan 13, 2012 16:34:34 GMT -5
My fault about that. I'll correct it. Glad someone's reading the story.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Jan 13, 2012 16:39:40 GMT -5
No worries.
And people read, they just don't comment. I'm trying to do something about that.
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Post by kardonwire on Jan 15, 2012 20:26:41 GMT -5
Just read both issues. Other than some minor problems that most of us on the site do, (spelling mistakes, dodgy sentence structure etc) I enjoyed it.
The interaction between the characters is solid, in that with each little conversation I feel that I get them more. Can't wait for the sparring session ;D.
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Post by someonespc on Jan 15, 2012 21:41:40 GMT -5
Thanks for the compliments. If the next issue is a little odd: it's due to me writing it using D and D dice. I'm not very adept at writing action and want to try playing out a campaign using this. I have very mock character sheets made, and will let the dice decide who wins the sparring and outcome of most things.
I'm aware of my sentence structure. I know it isn't perfect, but I try my best.
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Post by buck on Jan 16, 2012 23:24:35 GMT -5
I enjoyed the issue though I feel it could've benefited from being longer it felt like a single beat within an issue rather then a complete issue.
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Post by jackalope on Jan 17, 2012 1:56:36 GMT -5
Thanks for the compliments. If the next issue is a little odd: it's due to me writing it using D and D dice. I'm not very adept at writing action and want to try playing out a campaign using this. I have very mock character sheets made, and will let the dice decide who wins the sparring and outcome of most things. I'm aware of my sentence structure. I know it isn't perfect, but I try my best. Ha, that's a nifty way to go about it, let us know how/if it works. The issue is good, I like Damage and his unique power structure. Interested to see how the story goes. |
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Jan 17, 2012 16:23:46 GMT -5
That does seem like a nifty way. I gotta agree.
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Post by someonespc on Jan 25, 2012 16:52:20 GMT -5
Issue 2.5 is up. I could've just connected it with two, but this is how it worked out. I think the D & D route is what I'm gonna do, the fight went way different than I planned when thinking it out.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Jan 25, 2012 17:27:40 GMT -5
The idea worked out decently in terms of concept But depending on how you did it, it felt completely random and didn't seem to take into context the potential for individual experience. It will probably come across better when you start adding rogues into play but for now, the randomness made them all feel like rookies with no skill at all.
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Post by someonespc on Jan 25, 2012 18:56:17 GMT -5
I can accept that critique as it was pretty random. If it works when they fight someone else that's what matters.
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