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Post by dhoward126 on Apr 5, 2012 10:35:04 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback thus far guys. Issue #3 was the quickest one for me to write of the three so far. I want Valley to seem like he is enjoying what he's doing despite the line of work he's in, I definitely am not going to have him be a wise-cracking Spidey type character, but I want Valley out of the suit to have more to him.
Issue #4 will bring us the rematch between Conduit and Azrael and the ultimate fates of LeHah, Gardener and the System. Expect plenty of action and a shocking conclusion to "In Darkness."
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Post by superecwfan1 on Apr 24, 2012 12:41:12 GMT -5
#3 seemed a lot better for everything all around. It took some time and build to make everything work with Azrael , Lehah and Harold. But #3 seemed a step in the right direction for it. One aspect is , I would like to see more in depth into Conduit really. I like to see more of a villain's motivations really . So that would be my only little deal lol.
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Post by jackalope on Apr 24, 2012 17:58:57 GMT -5
Great action, stylish dialogue, well-executed building of tension. As many have already said #3 is your best so far. Bring on #4 - and beyond.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Apr 26, 2012 16:48:55 GMT -5
I enjoyed the first two issues, and three improved and everything. I liked the ending as it sets up issue four to start right from the fight scene. You fixed the issues with the scene transitions which was helpful for the reader.
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Post by dhoward126 on Apr 27, 2012 18:22:12 GMT -5
The conclusion of "In Darkness" is now up. Thank you again for your continued feedback and time! I hope you enjoy the action and enjoyed the arc in general.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Apr 28, 2012 8:26:56 GMT -5
Liked the arc alot. One criticism is that in one or two places the tense seemed to be off ie:
"“LeHah, you are a dead man!” Shouted Gardener as he took aim with his hand cannon and fired it at the limping LeHah. The harsh recoil of the pistol in addition to the already sustained damage nearly knocks Gardener to the floor and sends the bullet whizzing away from his target. His revolver jams for the second shot and he tosses it aside opting to find cover instead."
Started off past tense (shouted) and ended up present tense (tosses). Only negative I can think of.
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Post by Stardrifter on Apr 28, 2012 20:11:44 GMT -5
Read the first two issues. A good start. I see you've been playing with styles. I personally didn't mind the script style since outside of dialogue it was still prose. I've never had any great interest in Azrael beyond the AzBats phase. The whole religion and system stuff just isn't for me. That said, the writing was good and you pulled off the underworld/secret agent plot very well.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Apr 29, 2012 0:29:03 GMT -5
Why is this an announcement?
....
*does adminy thing*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2012 17:55:01 GMT -5
Re: #4
Nice wrap up to the first arc. Definitely intrigued by the Phantasm and want to see more. I would also like to see the Order of St. Dumas expanded on and given a little space to give Azrael a little more context as the series proceeds. Well done.
-M
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