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Post by buck on Dec 21, 2011 1:31:57 GMT -5
Well a few bits to just point out.
The lead in is actually to something in Zeta Warriors. It's just a possible future.
And all so that is Gayvn as in the leader of Starworld not Grayven.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Dec 21, 2011 1:33:35 GMT -5
Ok blame my mind fart there....whoops. I always weirdly fuck his name up. And was thinking the wrong guy. My mind was on a completely different character...
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Post by buck on Dec 21, 2011 1:35:32 GMT -5
Yeah the spellings are quite close though so I'll give you a break on it.
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Post by C_Miller on Dec 23, 2011 2:20:19 GMT -5
Oh wow. Things don't look good for the Zetas.
I really dig this title. I know I don't review much, but I should. I really love the kind of comradarie that you portray here. It's almost like Band of Brothers in space, which is okay by me!
But yeah, this issue kicked your title into overdrive and I can't wait to see where it leads.
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Post by kardonwire on Dec 29, 2011 19:08:57 GMT -5
Just taking a break after reading up to issue five and I gotta say this is a pretty sweet title. It's exactly what you want from a sci-fi series on a lot of levels, something I'm a big fan of. Keep up the good work.
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Post by buck on Feb 5, 2012 22:29:18 GMT -5
#9 is up. It's a bit on the shortside, but that is because I wanted to save the juicer bits for issue #10 and I felt it would've been two big of an issue if I combined the two. Look for #10 to be in the works shortly.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Feb 8, 2012 0:03:00 GMT -5
Short and sweet just the way I can't get myself to write. ^_^
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2012 2:58:29 GMT -5
I'm not sure how useful comments on #1 are at this point, but I am new here and just starting to delve in on the many series, so all I have read of Adam Strange so far is #1.
First impressions-I really liked the first 2/3 of the issue where we are not sure what is real-if Adam is truly insane or suffering form memories and separation trauma. The last third wasn't bad, but I would have liked to see the ambiguity of what is real last a while longer.
The dialogue was also much stronger in the first 2/3. I think the dialogue in the asylum was spot on, the nurse felt real, the orderlies felt real, the therapist, felt real except for the use of buffoons-but the use of such a "comic booky" term added to the ambiguity of what was real and what wasn't. Not sure if that was your intent is using the word or not, but that's the effect it had for me.
Now I did have one issue with this first issue-and my problem was highlighted in the final third. This is a first issue and an "Ultimate DC" universe where the DC characters are perhaps tweaked, altered, or radically changed. You introduced a succession of character names in rapid fire fashion in the final scene, but you didn't introduce the reader to any of them. I get that I am a comic book reader and a DC fan and know these characters form past experience, but I don't think a writer should work form that assumption, especially not in an "Ultimate" universe. Who are these people? What do they look like? They appear, start firing off powers, but we never get introduced to them. If there were comic book visuals, this might not be an issue, as I could see the characters, but there's no visuals, so the prose has to stand up and fill in the visuals, and it doesn't in the final third. There'a lots of action, and I am guessing you wanted the last part to be fast paced and descriptions would have slowed it down, but as it was, it was hard to follow who was who and who did what because some of the characters were unfamiliar to me and I have been reading DC for over 25 years-so what would it be like to a reader who is not familiar with the DC catalog of characters let alone their possible Ultimizations.
Just a thought, and a trend I am seeing in a lot of first issues. Writers can assume some common knowledge, but knowledge of second or third tier DC characters isn't exactly common knowledge for a lot of folks.
Adam was well fleshed out, but almost every other character was window dressing in #1, and worse window dressing that I didn't know how it looked visually.
I'm on board for the rest, as I like the set up and the premise and Adam's character, but I hope to find the rest of the cast better introduced as I move forward. -M
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Post by buck on Feb 10, 2012 3:38:34 GMT -5
I'm not sure how useful comments on #1 are at this point, but I am new here and just starting to delve in on the many series, so all I have read of Adam Strange so far is #1. First impressions-I really liked the first 2/3 of the issue where we are not sure what is real-if Adam is truly insane or suffering form memories and separation trauma. The last third wasn't bad, but I would have liked to see the ambiguity of what is real last a while longer. The dialogue was also much stronger in the first 2/3. I think the dialogue in the asylum was spot on, the nurse felt real, the orderlies felt real, the therapist, felt real except for the use of buffoons-but the use of such a "comic booky" term added to the ambiguity of what was real and what wasn't. Not sure if that was your intent is using the word or not, but that's the effect it had for me. Now I did have one issue with this first issue-and my problem was highlighted in the final third. This is a first issue and an "Ultimate DC" universe where the DC characters are perhaps tweaked, altered, or radically changed. You introduced a succession of character names in rapid fire fashion in the final scene, but you didn't introduce the reader to any of them. I get that I am a comic book reader and a DC fan and know these characters form past experience, but I don't think a writer should work form that assumption, especially not in an "Ultimate" universe. Who are these people? What do they look like? They appear, start firing off powers, but we never get introduced to them. If there were comic book visuals, this might not be an issue, as I could see the characters, but there's no visuals, so the prose has to stand up and fill in the visuals, and it doesn't in the final third. There'a lots of action, and I am guessing you wanted the last part to be fast paced and descriptions would have slowed it down, but as it was, it was hard to follow who was who and who did what because some of the characters were unfamiliar to me and I have been reading DC for over 25 years-so what would it be like to a reader who is not familiar with the DC catalog of characters let alone their possible Ultimizations. Just a thought, and a trend I am seeing in a lot of first issues. Writers can assume some common knowledge, but knowledge of second or third tier DC characters isn't exactly common knowledge for a lot of folks. Adam was well fleshed out, but almost every other character was window dressing in #1, and worse window dressing that I didn't know how it looked visually. I'm on board for the rest, as I like the set up and the premise and Adam's character, but I hope to find the rest of the cast better introduced as I move forward. -M First, Thank you. I really appreciate the indepth analysis of my work. I agree with everything you pointed out. I can definitely agree with the first 2/3 of the issue being better then the last quarter. I'd initially written the issue to have Adam;s sanity being left in question through the end of the issue. When I went back through and read it some more I felt that I needed to change the ending to what it ended up being as that is truly what the book is about. It's a big space odyssey. I felt that I needed to introduce that element in the first issue. As far as the introduction of the other characters I agree. I did a poor job of introducing them as I failed to put myself into the reader's shoes which you eloquently pointed out. I wish I could say you are in for smoother sailing on the who each character is, but while it gets slightly better it doesn't grow in leaps and bounds. Again thank you very much for the breakdown on what you felt the issue did right and wrong.
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Post by jackalope on Feb 10, 2012 5:12:45 GMT -5
Latest issue is good. Liked learning Miracle's backstory (they're totally my favourite DC couple). Kind of with there was a bit more of a description of Styx- who I imagine as evil-hot but am not quite sure. Good stuff though man. Space Odyssey!
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Post by buck on Feb 10, 2012 5:14:53 GMT -5
Latest issue is good. Liked learning Miracle's backstory (they're totally my favourite DC couple). Kind of with there was a bit more of a description of Styx- who I imagine as evil-hot but am not quite sure. Good stuff though man. Space Odyssey! I will be sure to elaborate a bit more on Styx's appearance in the next issue. All I can say about that issue is Barda's going to be pissed about someone kissing her man.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2012 15:30:50 GMT -5
Ok moving on to #2 now, some comments. I'll try to be briefer this time.
So #2 is balls to the wall action from beginning to almost the end (more on that in a moment). The issue chugged along at a rapid pace, but for me some of the action fell a little flat. One scene in particular stood out for its flatness because it was such a great idea and had the potential to be a freaking brilliant scene-when Martian Manhunter enters the Shaggy Man, and then expands to destroy it. So much potential and it was resolved in 2 sentences without very much impact, making it very anti-climatic. Give me more description on the action man, I loved the idea but the execution was way too sparse to be satisfying. Again as I said in #1, if there were visuals here to carry the story there would be no problem, but we are writing without the visual component of the comic story so we as writers have to make sure we make the scenes come to life with our descriptions of the action.
If the action were fleshed out more I would have loved the issue, but as it was I only just liked it.
Personal preference speaking here, I if you were going for exhausting balls to the wall all out action for the issue, the scene where Adam appears blasts Ro and collapses would have been a much better end-frantic exhausting action all the way that wears everyone out until they collapse-the end come back next time to see if everyone is ok after that.
The epilogue sets up the idea of Adam with no memory, which I think will be important down the road (haven't read #3 on yet), but felt anti-climatic after all that frantic action. It is a slow scenes and I think if it had been cut and moved to open the next issue would have been a good start to slow build the story of Adam's missing memories. With Adam collapsing you still have people wondering if he's going to be ok (the net effect of the memory revelation) and allows your focus on #2 to be on the rescue of Adam, allowing the reader to feel wow the heroes accomplished something this issue, then bam start issue 3 with a big reveal that turns it on its head. Instead we get the idea of rescue undercut because the big reveal is not the rescue its the memory loss and it lessens the sense of accomplishment of what the heroes did to rescue Adam. I understand what you were going for trying to set up the next big thing and being people back, but I think having Adam collapse after taking out Ro did the same thing and kept another bullet in your gun for the next issue. I could be wrong, #3 could blow me away and I may change my mind and think the epilogue fits perfectly after #2, but I don't have that hindsight right now, only my experience reading #1 and 2.
-M
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2012 16:18:04 GMT -5
Ok, now for Adam Strange #3 Reactions.
Overall, I really liked this issue and feel you have a great grasp of Adam. He is fleshed out well here in the flashbacks.
I do have a gripe and it’s the same as in #1 and 2. As a reader I want my writer to show not tell. Two scenes in particular to show what I mean-the opening scene-you tell me J’onn is preparing to enter Adam’s mind and Comet looks nervous…as a reader I want to know the how, the whys and wherefores…show me the scene don’t tell me man. How is J’onn preparing? What is Comet doing to make him look nervous? Sweating? fidgeting? Pacing? Playing with a gun? What man, show me!
The same when Adam wakes up in the tent in Peru three months after he is disgraced. You tell me Peru has not been kind to him…show me instead-how does he look? Is he haggard? Unshaven? Unkempt? Is he sleeping in some run down ramshackle hovel or the Four Seasons? Setting shows me a lot about how Peru is treating him. Again it comes down to the lack of visuals. As story tellers we need to give the readers everything they need. If there are no visuals (and as readers of comic stories we rely a lot on visuals to tell the story without realizing just how much of the story they convey) the writer has to fill that gap with prose.
Comic texts are spare on details (especially modern comics) but comic stories are not. Captions and dialogue no longer set the scene in comics like they did in the Golden, Silve,r and Bronze Ages, as comic writers are now told to rely on the visuals. It works really well for comics. But for fan fiction we don’t have the safety net of visuals for our stories, so it becomes incumbent for us to fill in those gaps. Without those visual details there for me as a reader, it sometimes feels like I am reading an outline of a story with some dialogue rather than a complete story. This isn’t unique to the Adam Strange stories, it’s something I noticed with a lot of the stories I sampled when I first followed the link from CBR’s forums here, and it is something I will likely harp on as I get around to commenting on those stories.
I really like the ideas and direction of this series, and the character of Adam is being fleshed out very well. I, as a reader, just want the scenes I am reading to be fleshed out as well. -M
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2012 3:24:46 GMT -5
Ok have read #4-7 now as well, will comment as a group.
Issues #4-6 were much more satisfying. You really fleshed out Adam and gave some attention to J'onn and Comet, but still kept up a frenetic breakneck pace. Things were still a little sparse where detail is concerned for my taste, but that can be a stylistic issue as well as a substantive one.
#7 was again balls to the wall action with a huge cast, but for me was less satisfying than the previous 3 issues. The larger cast led to more of just names and powers, and overall the issue felt rushed, including having some proofreading issues near the end with some lines of dialogue between J'onn and Despero needing to be edited for clarity of what was being said.
I still love where the story is going and the breakneck pace, but I get a sense your writing is stronger when there is a narrower focus on a smaller cast. When the focus opens up and the cast grows larger, the characters become more pawns being moved on the board than fleshed out individuals. It is hard juggling a large cast and one of the biggest challenges of writing a team book is making sure each member gets a chance to shine and is fully fleshed out. Even among pro comic writers there are some guys who kill it on solo books, but take on team books and are overwhelmed (Brubaker comes to mind here as a recent example, but there are lots of others). There has been steady improvement since the first issue, but #7 felt like a bit of a stumble, not a bad one, but a stumble Overall though, I am digging this series and looking forward to reading the last two issues I haven't got to yet. -M
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Post by buck on Feb 11, 2012 3:29:21 GMT -5
Again I appreciate the feedback,MRP. You've hit the nail on the head I struggle with story controlling the characters rather then characters controlling the story throughout this series and Checkmate. Glad that your enjoying the story and I'm trying to incorporate your feedback into my issues going forward.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2012 4:27:13 GMT -5
Ok read 8 and 9 now, so all caught up and looking forward to more.
8 felt a bit weird, I liked it but the differences between the slow build up in the prologue and the frantic pace of the second half was jarring. I liked both halves, but I am not sure I liked them together.
The ideas however are very cool. I like the First-Fifth World concepts. When you first mentioned the Earthbound I was like wtf are they tied to the (generic as in element) earth or what, what does their name mean, and when we finally found out they are bound for (as in destination) earth I was like WOW that is freaking brilliant. Great payoff and revelation there.
Again these issues felt stronger as the focus was narrower and the cast smaller.
I have to say that I don't even mind Lobo's presence and he is quite possibly my least favorite character in the DCU mythos.
9 was very good and had me wanting more. There were a couple of rough sentence structures early on that caused me to have to stop and reread for comprehension, which I found annoying because I wanted to keep reading to see what happened and didn't want to take the time to go back to reread. The scene with Styx and Miracle was good, but as others have pointed out, knowing what Styx looked like would have helped make it even better. Her dialogue was strong and conveyed a lot of character and implied a lot of body language-which leads to really strong characterization, but without the description there was nothing to hook that on to to keep it in place and drive it all home.
Overall, I really like the series and the frenetic wide screen action feel of it.
I keep thinking of Warren Ellis widescreen comics when I read it.
Adam Strange and the Zeta Warriors-we're space-heroes and we're bastards! (or is it bastiches since Lobo's around)
-M
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Post by buck on Feb 21, 2012 4:26:38 GMT -5
Adam Strange #10 is up hope all of you enjoy The Ballad of Barda Free.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2012 1:00:18 GMT -5
Re: #10
Another balls to walls action issue. Loved Barda's reaction to the situation and her fight with Styx. Styx seemed to be dispatched fairly quickly, but I wonder if this was her final curtain or if she has another trick up her sleeve if she is a god-lie being.
I loved Jonn's I heard that line, it cracked me up in a way J'onn hasn't since he gave up his Oreo habit.
So Despero has another piece of his doomsday collection and we are moving towards a big climatic battle. Looking forward to see how it plays out.
-M
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Post by buck on Feb 28, 2012 1:17:37 GMT -5
Re: #10 Another balls to walls action issue. Loved Barda's reaction to the situation and her fight with Styx. Styx seemed to be dispatched fairly quickly, but I wonder if this was her final curtain or if she has another trick up her sleeve if she is a god-lie being. I loved Jonn's I heard that line, it cracked me up in a way J'onn hasn't since he gave up his Oreo habit. So Despero has another piece of his doomsday collection and we are moving towards a big climatic battle. Looking forward to see how it plays out. -M The way I have the title structured is I wanted to try and bring the DC Cosmic characters to a level similar to what Annihilation did for Marvel's characters. The title is almost an event type book hence the balls to the wall approach. In the future, I've planned to slow it down, following the events of the Earthbound Saga and the Dark Side of the Future storylines, and focus on the individual characters more. As the climax grows closer I have a few one shots that a few other writers have worked on that will bring up major plot points for the individual characters. Can't wait for what the future of the titles holds.
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Post by C_Miller on Feb 28, 2012 1:41:36 GMT -5
Yeah, this is fantastic. The climax of this issue was superb and I could see every part of it in my head, so that's definitely a plus. Also, Barda is one of the few New Gods I'm familiar with, so that definitely made it better from my perspective.
I love the epic quality that you've employed for this title. It definitely fits for where this is all going... Keep it up!
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