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Post by C_Miller on Apr 25, 2012 13:02:26 GMT -5
Yeah, definitely. I agree on all points, but I was kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place on this one. I wanted to start with Wally, but I felt like and important part of Wally's story would have been hindered without some exploration of Barry, however, if I spent more time on Barry, I would have never gotten to Wally (although looking back, there's a part of me that wish I decided to use Barry as my main Flash just for the sake of classics).
So, this by nature was a hard sell and I think that I did the best that I could with 8 issues. But also, when it comes down to it, these were the first issues that I wrote for this site. I'm not proud of them, but they stand as proof of growth.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2012 13:15:53 GMT -5
What was there was definitely good, don't get me wrong, and I understand where you were coming from. Your later work definitely shows growth, both as a writer and as a storyteller, which are separate and distinct things. Most of my comments were directed (I think) at the story telling decisions made more than at the quality of the writing.
Some people are great storytellers and lousy writers. Some great writers but lousy storytellers. The trick is to do well at both and sometimes they seem at cross purposes.
I realize they were an early effort, which is why I was hesitant to make comments, but I thought it was better in the end to potentially start a dialogue about story telling choices and make the comments than it was to refrain because they were early efforts.
-M
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Apr 26, 2012 22:38:03 GMT -5
Yay for name drops! Now if only I could remember the name of that telepath I left in the meta crimes unit. And it's raining mayors all week.
The good: I like that though this was a setup issue, the setup should hopefully pay off with the three separate action bits in the next few issues. I'm happy we're finally seeing some rogues.
The bad: Though we saw the rogues, there really was no resonance in the scene to me. That probably stems from that section probably could have benefited from another read through in edits. It lost strength because of that.
The ugly: You lost a chance with that time jump. If I had known that's what you intended to with the jumping (I thought it'd be after THIS issue), I would have likely advised against it. You're not making Wally's relationships mean anything. We know he was with Jess but we only see them break up. We saw that he was kinda with Linda then 2 months later and they broke up off screen... Nothing to care about there. And now there's a semi-random new girl and awkward date.
Good issue and <_< Leagues above Barry's volume.
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Post by C_Miller on Apr 26, 2012 23:10:01 GMT -5
Well in all fairness, I never really built up Wally and Linda's relationship in the first place. But, there will be a lot more over the next few issues with Linda and Julie and others. I'm kind of making a conscious choice by making Wally's relationships not mean anything, but that will change soon. I apologize that you didn't get much resonance with The Rogues scene. This arc is going to establish The Rogues further, so I hope you enjoy the future interactions and what not. You'll definitely get a feeling of who they are after this. But from the sounds of it you generally liked it, so I'm thankful for that. And Leagues above Barry's volume... is that a pun But yeah, stick around, I promise it will get LEAGUES better. haha
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Apr 26, 2012 23:15:55 GMT -5
I liked their interaction and I loved Cold but there were too many mistakes in that scene for me to enjoy it.
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Post by C_Miller on Apr 27, 2012 0:12:35 GMT -5
hmm... I was pretty tired when I edited it... I'll give it a look see in the morning.
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Post by buck on Apr 27, 2012 17:59:39 GMT -5
I enjoyed the issue a lot. I have a bit of glimpse into the future of the title and I enjoyed the way you did some subtle foreshadowing in this issue. Looking forward to the next issue immensely.
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Post by Stardrifter on Apr 29, 2012 20:21:04 GMT -5
Caught up and enjoyed it. I like how happy Wally is as a character. Despite all the bad things that have happened, he's not a brooding angstfest, which is refreshing.
Which isn't to say some angst would be bad. I felt cheated that you just skipped the fight between Wally and Linda. You kinda rushed into that relationship, didn't give it much time, then just glanced over a potentially amazing scene where SHE FINDS OUT HE IS THE FLASH! That scene was way way too important and dramatic to just have Wally comment on it briefly in retrospect.
Other than that, really great job as usual. Keep em coming.
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Post by C_Miller on Apr 29, 2012 20:39:56 GMT -5
Well due to some poor book keeping on me, I need to put an issue between 4 and 5, so you're going to get your wish!
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Post by buck on May 1, 2012 10:05:33 GMT -5
You really should've used an extension for this issue. It wasn't bad but it lacked the well rounded quality your other issues have. It definitely felt rushed, but it still retained the qualities I enjoy about your writing. Morillo bagging his head against the desk was a nice touch. All in all it's good for what it is but it doesn't stack as well against your other more crafted issues.
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Post by C_Miller on May 1, 2012 10:30:26 GMT -5
Yeah, unfortunately, I wouldn't have been able to claim Heat Wave since it would have been my April issue and I would have been in the same situation. That was what this issue was for in the end. I'm just glad I had something to do with it rather than be completely at a loss.
I wil say too that even though this is a less than positive review, I didn't feel bad at all. Normally I feel even slightly bad about light criticism, but this I just shrugged off. Shows how much this issue meant to me. haha.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on May 1, 2012 10:57:48 GMT -5
I actually have a differing opinion. Except for the first scene which suffered from the same problems as your Rogue's scene in the original 5 (needs that proofing and polish and with your deadline met, I hope you go back in and edit it to make Linda and Wally's coming apart stronger), this one was generally better in terms of story telling than a majority of your series has been. It felt like a story about the Flash as opposed to most of yours being the story about a guy called the Flash.
So yeah.
Proofreading/quality of writing = rushed
Storytelling when taken as a whole = win.
Do less jumping around and more this. Actually develop your characters and give them time on page than telling us what happened. The Julie and Wally scene coming up in the revamped 6 can definitely be improved if you start thinking about the issue itself than the story you want to get across for a later one.
Edit: As an example... Your overall character use for Flash and the constant jumping around... I didn't give a crap about the Dawn freaking out about Wally becoming the Flash yet here, with Linda having been given time to develop in Volume 2 and BatB, I care and feel that she's angry about him being what he is.
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Post by Stardrifter on May 13, 2012 17:39:18 GMT -5
This last issue was good. Not standout, not bad, just a solid read. I enjoyed the bit of action with the Trickster and it was nice seeing Wally using his head, if still ending up tricked in the end.
Keep 'em coming.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2012 1:53:29 GMT -5
Ok, did a little speed reading to catch up on volume 2 (what? ducks Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week, be sure to tip your server and try the veal!) Finished up volume 2 including the new issue (#6). As others have said, a marked improvement over vol. 1, but it still has issues. Proofreading and diction are one of them (things like using illusive instead of elusive) and the story is worth bearing with them (but I am not baring with you at all man, I like you well enough but I don't know you well enough to bare anything in your company). However, the bigger problem I think is pacing (something wachter has alluded to indirectly with your jumping around). I don't think that the issue is the scene switching, it's that when you do it the results are uneven. Some things are decompressed and drag on too long, and others feel rushed and could use some more time to breathe and develop. Here is something to consider (and I am drawing from 2 sources here and synthesizing them-David Mamet's on directing film and Robert McKee's Story)-before you write a scene, before you block it out into beats, figure out what the scene is meant to accomplish (i.e.) why is it there? and what has to happen for it to accomplish its purpose. The purpose of most scenes is to achieve a value change in the character (be it emotional, physical, or otherwise) either from a positive to a negative (i.e. happy to sad, rich to poor, employed to unemployed), or a negative to a positive (down and out to victorious, trapped to escaped, sad to happy etc.). Then what steps have to occur to make that happen (these are your beats). Once you block out the scene look it over and ask-is everything I need to accomplish the scene's goal there? If not, add it in. Is everything there helping to accomplish that goal? If not, cut it out. Then write the scene and ask the same questions. If you are missing beats the scene will feel rushed and like it needs more room to develop. If you have unnecessary beats, the scene may feel like it is dragging or plodding along. Get into the scene, accomplish what it needs to do, and get out and onto the next scenes. Once you have that, you can layer into it description and focus your dialogue to keep the scene on point. It can also help plot out action scenes-once you know where the scene is going it is easier to figure out the steps along the way. Don't be slavish to the technique, but it does help the thought process for me to block it out this way. I am not always successful, but then again I am still learning and honing my craft like most people here. It's why we do this beyond just enjoying it. Onto some story specifics for the most recent issue. Grrrrrrrrr! I went from liking Jackham to disliking her just because she became an obstacle for Wally and Linda. Wally is an idiot, he should have offered to carry Linda's groceries at the elevator-break the ice. He is way to passive (but I'll deal as long as you don't start hinting you are going to make him gay so our UDCU is more diverse-no problems with LBGT characters, just with editorial grandstanding to spin PR out of something which is not a news story and when they do so it feels exploitative rather than tolerant of diversity...(sorry for the rant/soapbox). -M
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 5, 2012 19:02:54 GMT -5
Okay I'm confused. Went to read the latest issue and I could have sworn I already read it. Did you repost it or something?
It was a good issue though. I liked the Rogues interaction and seeing some more behind the mask stuff. Keep em coming.
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Post by C_Miller on Jun 9, 2012 13:15:21 GMT -5
Yeah, there were so issues with claims that I was unaware of (hadn't claimed Heat Wave), so I took it down, wrote the last issue with Trickster, claimed Heat Wave and then re-posted this issue. I made a couple minor changes, but it's pretty much the same.
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Post by oberonfrost on Jun 19, 2012 1:20:36 GMT -5
So, there's a lot of Flash stuff, Miller. Lol I admit, I was slow to get around to the Flash stuff, because I've never been able to keep reading a Flash title in the past.
I just finished up through issue #6 of vol. 1. I think that your version of the Flash mythos is my favorite. I truly love reading your Jesse. I'll definitely continue reading and I might catch up completely one of these days.
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Post by C_Miller on Jun 19, 2012 1:36:12 GMT -5
That's always nice to hear, especially since I love all things Flash.
And as for Jessie, I'm not sure if you've read JSA, but if you haven't, she's a main character there.
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Post by oberonfrost on Jun 19, 2012 1:41:16 GMT -5
That's always nice to hear, especially since I love all things Flash. And as for Jessie, I'm not sure if you've read JSA, but if you haven't, she's a main character there. I'm aware. I have the entire run of her in JSA and Robinson's run just before the reboot in JLA too. She's my favorite Flash. Just a step ahead of Jay Garrick. One of these days you'll have to tell me why you changed the spelling of her name.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Aug 3, 2012 18:07:18 GMT -5
Just finished vol 2. I really liked the scene on the speed force island (If that's the term) with the various flashes and the interaction between Wally and other characters. However unless I missed something, MM sort of disappeared. There was all this stuff in issue 4 about how he was going to kill the mayor, then the next two issues it was just the other rogues. I get how it's fitting together (HW wants to kill Mayor, MM kills Mayor etc) but he's sort of dropped off the face of the earth.
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