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Post by kardonwire on Aug 22, 2011 19:55:36 GMT -5
Just read the first three issues you posted and you haven't half went somewhere different with the idea of Batman. I decided to make it the first of the titles I'd have a read of since I kinda thought that since it's Batman it wouldn't be all that different but it really is.
Anyway, I quite liked the story so far and the way you've structured it. I definitely can't wait for the Jokers appearance, still trying to guess what you'll do with him. The only problem I had with it is the constant use of and, but it's not a major problem.
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Post by thekillingjoke on Aug 23, 2011 16:06:15 GMT -5
Thank you, kardonwire. Welcome to the site, by the way. I know the and bits can get repetitive, but I use it to keep action flowing more than anything. I try to use it less when things slow down.
Anywho, some good news. I had some inspiration last night and began writing Joker's introduction. It was more a clusterfuck of ideas than anything that resembles good writing, but I'll make it work somehow. It'll be a radical departure from the norm, as it should be for such a big character.
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Post by thekillingjoke on Aug 24, 2011 22:49:55 GMT -5
First draft of the Joker scene is written. It's longer than I thought it would be, but I like the way it's playing out. There's a lot of mystery to be found.
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Post by thekillingjoke on Aug 31, 2011 16:30:17 GMT -5
Issue #4 is up. It's a big 'un. Enjoy.
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Post by C_Miller on Aug 31, 2011 16:49:03 GMT -5
Okay, since you released this early, I'm counting this as your september issue. So you're good until October 31st.
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Post by thekillingjoke on Aug 31, 2011 17:18:35 GMT -5
Ah, good. I like taking my sweet time with issues.
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Post by jackalope on Sept 2, 2011 5:30:22 GMT -5
Good work man, definitely reads like you're hitting your stride. Your Batman is growing on me, which is something in itself as I was beginning to really not like the bastard. Surprisingly enjoying the Western storyline (nothing against your story- more my general lack of interest in westerns on my part), and the future story line reminds me a bit of Beauty and the Beast.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Sept 7, 2011 21:42:33 GMT -5
I enjoyed the western part. I like that part best and the relationship with Talia and Bruce aspect as well. I did like seeing Harvey Dent here. Nice touch. My only lone complaint is the dialogue issues with characters speaking and you have to make sure to know who is saying what line at times lol.
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Post by thekillingjoke on Oct 30, 2011 18:49:58 GMT -5
Issue #5 is up. It's significantly shorter than my other issues, but I felt like I have enough key moments in this issue to warrant its length. I don't have the energy to keep pounding out long issues, so I'm trying to make the moments count.
Most of the focus this issue is on the western storyline with future segments added to develop Wayne and the Joker.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Nov 3, 2011 9:42:19 GMT -5
The western part is basically the best things I feel. I really like Bruce saving Gordon who lost his leg. I'm trying hard to get into the 2115 future . Really trying. I do like .. : there at times to show someone doing dialogue . It helps.
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Post by thekillingjoke on Nov 3, 2011 10:13:09 GMT -5
Bruce had a line of dialogue when he was in Powers' hospital room. Nashton talked to the police a couple days after the mainframe explosion. Etc, etc. I chose to focus more on the past than the future this issue.
I typically set off dialogue with says along with a colon. I prefer not to use quotation marks. I'm not the first writer to do it and I probably won't be the last.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Nov 3, 2011 13:42:07 GMT -5
I typically set off dialogue with says along with a colon. I prefer not to use quotation marks. I'm not the first writer to do it and I probably won't be the last. Which is your right. Its your deal. I did like the colon because it made it a lot easier for me.
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Post by lunaticstrain on Nov 16, 2011 13:43:34 GMT -5
This is for issue #1
Everything between */ and */ is criticism, so skip that if you dont want to hear it. Also keep in mind I am NOT a professional author or critic and my opinion is just that.
*/ Didn't like the lack of quotation marks. Makes dialog what should feel fluid, feel jittery and a little hard to read. I'd prefer the time period not to jump around inside the issue Taking some characters into the future limits their use in other books. I'm not a big fan of your writing style ( this one is purely preference. It feels almost poetic, and I've never been a fan of poetry) The issue was a little long for my taste. I don't have much time to read these boards in a given day, and the smaller each individual issue the more I'm likely to give a struggling series several more tries to see if it picks up(not saying yours is struggling, just an example) */
I thought that your take on the character was drastically different, and I admire what you are trying to do with the character. I felt keeping the butlers name starting with A was a good idea too, it helps tie the two butlers together in my mind. The dialog was also pretty sharp in most spots, though the dialog between Bruce and the woman to convince her to get into his cart seemed a bit fast, but of course with her particular goal it makes sense. I'm interested to see if Bruce will ever become Batman and actually fight the villains, or if it will remain a slower title that is more about the psychology. I'll give it a few more issues and see if my concerns grow or shrink.
Thanks for the read.
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Post by jackalope on Dec 3, 2011 1:58:47 GMT -5
It wouldn't surprise me if joker is a super intelligent computer virus in this future but I'm kind of hoping there's a flesh and bones person out there... something of the charm. You're certainly kind of unrelenting in killing Alfred. I understand if its to make us truly hate the Joker, but I feel we never really got a proper chance to get to know your Alfred enough before he died. Though, I admire the lengths you're going to make this Batman story dark.
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Post by thekillingjoke on Dec 3, 2011 10:16:33 GMT -5
Well, here's the deal: I had a terrible case of writer's block. Honestly, I just couldn't figure out where the hell to go next. But I've been bothered by the fact that it still feels like too much of the same old same old, what with Wayne Manor and Alfred still serving Bruce Wayne. But with my enormous timeline, I figured that we could still have plenty of Alfred time when we rewind things a bit. So I did the only thing that seemed to make sense: I blew up Wayne Manor and killed Alfred.
So bottom line: This isn't the last we'll see of Alfred, but at this point in the timeline he's dead.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Dec 14, 2011 13:38:17 GMT -5
Yeah I wish we had gotten a stand alone issue where we got to know how this Alfred spent so many...many years with this Bruce Wayne before his death. I was into the Joker virus plot. Interested in where that goes.
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Post by thekillingjoke on Jan 11, 2012 18:54:10 GMT -5
Well, I decided to take a new approach to this issue and write in iambic pentameter while trying not to be overly poetic. My hope was that it'd help retain some of the poetic phrasing I'm fond of while being mostly straightforward.
It turned out to be a pretty exhausting exercise at first, but I got more comfortable with it as the issue went on. I won't call it my best issue, but I feel like there's a lot of potential in writing this way.
Anyway, thoughts?
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Post by superecwfan1 on Jan 12, 2012 2:16:31 GMT -5
The phrasing took some time to get a handle on. But it was a nice read to build on the old western storyline . I was wondering who Monk is at the end.
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Post by jackalope on Jan 16, 2012 16:30:22 GMT -5
It was nicely written, but I'd probably prefer if it was longer. We get bites of your story but its hard to really get my teeth into. I like the introduction of the Monk- interested to see where that goes. Also, I'd love to see a bit more of what comes between the old West and the Cyber Future.
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Post by buck on Jan 16, 2012 23:29:12 GMT -5
I agree the phrasing was a bit difficult to get a handle on, but it turned out excellent once I got on top of it. Monk seems like he will be interesting; has me debating rather he is a new incarnation of a classic character or a new character. I have to say this feels like American Vampire with Batman as the protagonist which is a very good thing.
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