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Post by kardonwire on Sept 30, 2011 19:36:31 GMT -5
First issue is up, hope you like it. A bit on the short side but like Dr. Strange it's because I was planning out the rest of the series so the rest should be easier.
*scurries off to read S.H.A.D.E.*
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Post by C_Miller on Sept 30, 2011 20:34:32 GMT -5
Just fixed your board. I forgot to check off "no announcements" when I made it. Sorry about that.
Anyways, as for the issue at hand, if this is what you call short, you're going to be giving me a run for my money when it comes to super long issues. No problem with that.
The Shield is a character that I have absolutely no experience with. Probably the only title at this site that I'm just a complete noob with. You did a really good job introducing your characters and the nature of their part of the universe. I must say I look forward to more and I'm glad we have a little bit of diversity at the site.
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Post by jackalope on Oct 2, 2011 1:51:40 GMT -5
Hey, nice intro. King Shark's introduction was good, nice and creepy at the end there... I know little about your crew but I'll be reading it with interest. At some stage everyone writing teams and organisations will need to do a mega crisis crossover.
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Post by Stardrifter on Oct 4, 2011 20:20:42 GMT -5
Yeah I have no idea who these people are either. But it was a good start. Some mistakes and run on sentences. Just some proof reading needed. Looking forward to see where you're going. Keep em coming.
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Post by kardonwire on Oct 5, 2011 12:16:25 GMT -5
Cheers for the comments guys. If that length isn't too short then I'll probably just make them a bit longer so I can update more often than once a month.
My sentences running on have always been a problem of mine but I intend to double check it next time.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Oct 19, 2011 11:07:29 GMT -5
Ok I wanna apologize Kardonwire...I posted this at the end of your story. I deleted it quick once I saw my fuck up. Anyhow.... I liked it. It was a good introduction to some of the team here. I liked seeing Blue Jay and Silver here. Also I loved the tease that King Shark is possibly going bad at the end of #1. No problem with length really. It should be our decision really how long we wanna post stories here and all. I usually do 2 pages. Some do 1 page. Whatever floats your boat man.
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Post by kardonwire on Oct 28, 2011 19:16:20 GMT -5
Issue two is up.
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Post by buck on Oct 29, 2011 2:14:58 GMT -5
I loved turning issue ones cliffhanger on it's head that was a nice touch. Overall it was pretty solid. I just think you could have defined each character a little more a bit of description goes a long wat when starting a new title.
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Post by jackalope on Oct 29, 2011 16:59:46 GMT -5
Really well written. I still feel like like I don't really know the characters but I think that's on my hasty reading rather than your writing. The dialogue is good, natural, and like Buck said the cliff hangers are great- esp. the first- Shark King really had me thinking- Oh shit. Anyway look forward to seeing how this develops.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Oct 29, 2011 17:30:14 GMT -5
Quite interesting and my opinion is pretty much the same as Jack's.
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Post by kardonwire on Nov 1, 2011 16:50:49 GMT -5
Thanks for the comments.
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leviathan
New Member
Writer of Ultimate Expendables
Posts: 40
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Post by leviathan on Nov 1, 2011 16:51:16 GMT -5
Really love this series so far, bro.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Nov 2, 2011 18:06:43 GMT -5
I like seeing the swerve with King Shark. I had thought for sure he was gonna go bad lol. But I liked how he's the best pal. Just made into a monster in a way. I am intriqued at what they do to Jay and his "improvements" at the end. Nice touch.
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Post by Stardrifter on Nov 4, 2011 20:30:59 GMT -5
Was a good issue. Pretty simple setting things up. Keep em coming.
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Post by kardonwire on Nov 15, 2011 17:42:41 GMT -5
This update to Shield is just a short interlude about Silver Sorceress since I've kinda neglected her I feel in previous issues.
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Post by jackalope on Nov 16, 2011 1:20:17 GMT -5
Nice.
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Post by Stardrifter on Nov 17, 2011 19:44:10 GMT -5
It was a nice interlude. Short but interesting. Keep 'em coming.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Nov 18, 2011 19:56:48 GMT -5
Yeah I really liked the nice interlude deal here. Kinda on the short side. Would have been nice to see her fight a little on the moon. But I liked it.
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Post by kardonwire on Dec 29, 2011 18:28:15 GMT -5
Issue three is up. Not too pleased with it, for some strange reason I really struggled to get this one done, but with the bad comes the good and issue four is coming along nicely and is pretty much a big action issue.
Also cheers for the compliments on the interlude.
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Post by jackalope on Dec 30, 2011 2:17:56 GMT -5
Alright. Liked that you have Shield team up with Checkmate- an appropriate fit. The dialogue was good- though Shield comes across as a bit of a dick. I look forward to your next issue.
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