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Post by oberonfrost on Mar 3, 2012 15:44:26 GMT -5
Okay, I know this was supposed to be up the other night, but I decided to move the opening of issue 2 to the end of issue 1. Let me just say how much FUN this was to write. I am loving the experience. Watcher, considering the direction the story is going to be taking, I decided to stick with OUTRAGEOUS! as the subtitle for the Aquaman board. Thanks for that. What happens when Aquaman goes on a road trip with three mental patients looking for the ocean? Wait and see, true believers! Attachments:
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Mar 3, 2012 16:23:16 GMT -5
Sutbtitle is fine. If at any point you reach a need for a new one to fit the story's new direction, just tell me.
I have to say, of the 3 attempts at Aquaman, this is my favorite by far. It might be the fact I know a bit more of your story than others so I lack any possible misgivings but I don't think that is it. As always, your writing is solid and let me tell you from personal experience (a month stuck in Med-flight before I was discharged from the air force), it really is hell to be put into a situation with people worse off than you and being unable to do anything... at all.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2012 16:33:36 GMT -5
It's an interesting start. I think I will need to see more before I can determine how well I will like it, but I am along for the ride.
You missed two big chances to go for the beard man-as a hockey player he totally could have had the playoff beard going and it could have grown while he was in the coma. C'mon give us the Aquabeard! ;D
A quick editing note-you have a couple of sentences with missing words-mostly articles or prepositions, but it is distracting.
One research pet peeve-schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder are two completely different mental illnesses. Scizophrenia has nothing to do with split personality, it is when a patient suffers a break with reality. As you described them, Sylvia is most likely schizophrenic while Mary Pat Emerson suffers from MPD not schizophrenia. It was a big pet peeve of mine how many writers and pop culture creators got it wrong and didn't do their research when I used to teach psych, so I am just pointing it out as a venting mechanism. If you are going to feature mentally ill characters in the cast, try to be accurate in their portrayals, for me it is a respect thing for the untold number of people who do suffer from such afflictions and the people in their lives who suffer through it with them while supporting them.
Other than that it's a promising start to a series that looks to be enjoyable. I look forward to seeing more of Atlantis as you depict it.
-M
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Mar 3, 2012 16:44:10 GMT -5
Hey, I tried to make the beard a requirement when I accepted his claims and he shut me down.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2012 16:49:15 GMT -5
I remember you doing that and that was what inspired my beard comments -M
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Post by buck on Mar 3, 2012 22:55:46 GMT -5
COngrads as a huge Aquaman fan I'm fairly hard to please, but I found myself enjoying your take. I'm intrigued by the trip to the ocean, but I really can't wait to see how you bring in the adventures under the sea.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2012 6:26:17 GMT -5
Hey Man!
I enjoyed the first issue quite a lot. It's a totally different take on Aquaman, which is awesome. I must confess I don't really know a huge amount about Hockey. It's one of those things we see on American TV programs over here, but we don't really have much to do with it. Same as American Football. So I can't say I really got behind that bit
But the scenes in the Looney bin were great. I particularly liked some subtle little references, be they unconscious or not like "Getting hit between the eyes with a king hurts". Yeah it does. As Aquaman's enemy's are totally going to find out. I'm interested to see where this is going as well, as it's not like any Aquaman story I've ever read.
My one single point of criticism though, as you had things down with focusing on the POV of your characters etc, is the use of similes and metaphors. Bear in mind this is a personal opinion an' all, I felt that the constantly comparing everything to being related to water/ocean/stuff in and around the ocean, as pulling us into the realms of heavy handedness a bit. Yeah, he's Aquaman. Yes, his realm is the water, but not everything on the planet can and should be described as being like/element of water.
Like I say, really enjoyed it, just...felt that the descriptions lacked a certain variety!
Cheers
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Post by C_Miller on Mar 4, 2012 15:43:56 GMT -5
Very well done. Definitely a promising take on Aquaman. You said you had a lot of fun writing it and it showed. I think it's very safe to say that Aquaman is in good hands now.
Keep it up!
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Post by superecwfan1 on Mar 15, 2012 22:53:16 GMT -5
This to me was very promising and good. I kinda wish you didn't flash to Atlantis there in a scene and play up if Arthur is going crazy and losing it more. That to me would be the only thing's I'd have changed. Maybe add a scene where we see him diagnosed as being in the coma as well perhaps.
Beyond it , it was a very damn good read and Aquaman hopefully can launch right . I know you'll be the 3rd/4th take on him in months. But this one with his hockey past and him discovering his true origin could catch finally.
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Post by jackalope on Mar 19, 2012 2:47:28 GMT -5
Cool. I like this. An intriguing start and I look forward to some One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest type road tripping. I really look forward to seeing where this goes. I really want to see Aquaman in continuity. Keep them coming.
Ocean.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Mar 30, 2012 18:12:14 GMT -5
I usually don't like Aquaman. I relate him to the golden age silliness which I'm not a fan of. However I really enjoyed this.
The scene transitioning from his accident to the hospital scene was very well written. "Arms heavy, legs beyond the point they could struggle to kick at the roiling tide any longer, Arthur resigned himself to a cold death, alone in the dark.", for example, was very powerful.
There were a few minor issues. "In the second chair was Charlie Ritter-Dyster, the man couldn’t speak, had to drag an IV with him wherever he went." felt kind of disjointed to me.
I look forward to more
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Post by oberonfrost on Apr 30, 2012 23:11:36 GMT -5
Aquaman Chapter 2 is up. Not as much silliness as I might have liked. In editing this one I've realized that I'm going to have to do a better job balancing humor and seriousness in this series. Hope you enjoy. Attachments:
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Post by C_Miller on May 1, 2012 0:00:08 GMT -5
Interesting issue. I'm still not entirely sure where you're going with this title, but I'll take it as a wait and see kind of thing.
One thing I really did like is how you turned Garth into a farmboy. Very much the opposite of what he is in the comics and I love that you seem to be taking water out of the equasion. Very unique path, I must say.
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2012 0:35:45 GMT -5
Lots of interesting developments in issue #2. Took me a little bit to recall where everything left off after last issue, especially since you started with Garth, but once I got my head into it it was a good read. I liked the entrance by who I assume is Mera in the final scene. I am intrigued where this is going.
At some point you and I need to chat and clarify your Atlantis vis-avis the Altantis of Arion in Books of Magic and your Magus purge with homo-magus and other magic users in the Ultimate DCU, but I think hashing it out will be a lot of fun and a fruitful source of ideas for all involved.
-M
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Post by oberonfrost on May 1, 2012 0:55:51 GMT -5
Aquaman #3 is up for your perusal. I wasn't really trying to hide that it was Mera in issue 2, but you guys called. mrp, I'll PM you tomorrow with regard to Arion, BoM, the Magus Purge, etc. I don't think there'll be any conflicts at all. Miller, you are gonna have to play the long game to get the pay off on this one. Arthur's journey with his crazy house companions through issue 7! Thought I'm not sure if its gonna be much of a pay off. Hopefully more of a frustration for the reader. (Is that a bad thing necessarily?) I think everyone is going to find this is a very different Aquaman from what they've seen before. Attachments:
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Post by C_Miller on May 1, 2012 1:31:09 GMT -5
meh, I'm a huge Morrison fan. Long pay off is what I'm used to...
Looking forward to it though!
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2012 3:04:30 GMT -5
Re: #3
Wow that was fast!
The series is moving in an interesting direction. However, check your dates for the scenes. In issue 2 one said 2010 though it built on events in the present so I wasn't sure if that was a typo or not. Then in issue three the last scene says Feb 15 but it picks up where the previous scene with Mera and Garth ended and that was Feb 14, so it got a little confusing. The scene switching didn't bother me at all, but the questionable accuracy of the time indicators made keeping it all straight a little sketchy.
-M
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on May 1, 2012 3:24:33 GMT -5
I'm really getting a Percy Jackson feel from this series and that's awesome. As is Garth making a water shotgun. Poor Kaldur... He's such a weak Surfacetorn. Needs the waterbearers to cheat.
Looking forward to more. I'll be seeing what I can do in Young Justice to tie into the call of the ocean around this time period.
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Post by oberonfrost on May 1, 2012 6:59:40 GMT -5
mrp, thanks for the info on the dates. The 2010 date is a typo, and I'll be fixing that momentarily. The Feb. 15 date is correct, that scene takes place after midnight.
Watcher, glad you're enjoying it. I haven't read Percy Jackson in years, but now that you mention it, I can see where you're coming from. I do wanna point out, the shotgun was created by Mera, not Garth. I can see where that was confusing as I didn't state it unti the gun went away. But you'll see Mera and Garth discuss it soon.
P.S. Could I get a sub-board for upcoming solicits on Aquaman?
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on May 1, 2012 11:13:17 GMT -5
Cause I like you, I'll get to doing it today instead of taking my break from adminning.
Whatcha want it called and subtitled?
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