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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Feb 15, 2012 18:49:55 GMT -5
Overall it was a decent read. The only issue I had with it was the final scene which you had me go into detail with you over AIM so I'm not going to type my thoughts back up. Simply put for those of you curious about it... I felt it was tacked on, could have been handled differently, and knowing issue 7's purpose, might have been better saved.
Other than that. You continue to improve dialogue BUT, given that this is not visual, you almost never give reactions or reflections to what is going on. Try to get more into the characters or at least the POV's head. Almost all the knowledge of the characters come from their dialogue and certain actions. You rarely take a moment to go into detail about what's going on in their thought processes other than flat out thoughts.
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Post by buck on Feb 21, 2012 3:39:42 GMT -5
Another good issue. Jack's growth as a character has continued to be great through the series and he's really beginning to take shape as the leader of this JSA.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2012 14:40:11 GMT -5
Ok I wanted to get to this sooner, but between being down a few days with a touch of the flu and then having the house in chaos as contractors are working on a few remodeling projects, it took longer than I anticipated to get back to reading these.
JSA #1 Legacy Pt. 1-Reactions & comments
The opening scene, man that was rough, you introduce Katie, let us get to know her just a bit and start to invest in her and then bam she’s dead. It was a kick in the gut, but great job of writing there getting the audience (me) to invest in the character so quickly. The scene worked because of it, it made it matter.
Then the scene with Jack talking with Barbara about the JSA genocide just hammers home the gravity of the situation. You do a great job here of investing the story with a layer of emotional tension. The reaction of Barbara to the news is understated, but her silence and business-like reaction speaks volumes and that makes the tension in the scene almost palpable.
I like the sense of chaos in the war room, the feel that events are happening fast and furious and the heroes are struggling to keep up as they deal with the personal nature of it all. The cuts form Ryan and Jack getting information to Rex registering relief at the arrival of his wife and daughter, and the tension of knowing so many are still at risk just plays this out well. Even Jay’s concern for Jack when he wants to leave plays this up-if they are concerned when one of the heroes is going to be out there, how much more concerned should we be for the unpowered supporting cast still out there. The juxtaposition of events here works to make this a very effective scene.
Ok the scene between Jack and Courtney-I love the character of Courtney, I think she is one of the best new characters DC introduced in the last 20 years, but I hate, hate, HATE Wicked-I read the book for a book club I was in before there was even a sniff of adapting it into a musical and could not stand Maguire’s prose style or character work. With that in mind know that any scene that references Wicked is a tough sell for me, and well, this scenes was amazing character work. I liked it despite Wicked being there, and that is a huge accomplishment for me!
The scene with Rex wanting to go after Rick didn’t work as well with me as some of the others. It wasn’t bad, it just didn’t resonate with me as much as the others, but the payoff at the end with the revelation about Courtney worked really well after the earlier scene with Jack and Courtney at the audition. However, overall this second scene in the war room felt a little rushed. There was a lot of development there, but it was crammed in there and didn’t seem to have as much room to flex its dramatic muscles as you gave the other scenes.
And the last scene, let’s just say I screamed “DAMN YOU MILLER” at my computer screen when I read it. ‘Nuff said.
-M
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2012 15:31:51 GMT -5
JSA #2 Ok, you've got me invested in these characters, so I can't wait to read the rest to see what happened. I haven't read Spoilers yet, so I was not familiar with the characters, but despite that I immediately was interested in them the way you presented them, and now I want to go check out Wachter's series, which is exactly what a guest spot/crossover should do. Great job there. I have to wonder how Atom's (or Proton in this case) phone line power works in this digital satellite age and how many houses still have phones you have to pick up, particularly landlines. It's just a "cool technology-based" power that has lost relevance as tech has progressed. It not that it was a bad scene, it was just a huh moment for me in the issue, that put me on a tangental line of thought. You have done a good job of defining each character and making them individuals, and their actions and presentation reflect those personalities. It's great character work. The dialogue also stands out and most of the time you can tell who is speaking without needing a text indicator, which is excellent work. Degaton was a character who always seemed a bit lame to me, but he worked here. He had enough of a sense of menace to work here, and I guess not having to look at the ridiculous haircut he always has in the comic helps reduce the lameness of the character I loved Wes' entrance at the end. You have a good knack of putting cliffhanger type endings that leave the reader waiting anxiously to see what happens next. -M
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2012 15:37:53 GMT -5
PS I loved the nod to James Robinson with the naming of the hospital. -M
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2012 4:56:46 GMT -5
Re: Legacy Parts 3-5
So I finished the first arc and I have to say the character work was very strong throughout. I definitely like what you have done with each of the characters, and there was enough there to keep me interested even though I haven;t read the Flash or Spoilers yet to get the full back story on some of the characters.
I look forward to seeing Vandal Savage continue to menace the group and to see what comes of this book Wes had from the Spectre.
There were a few rough parts in the writing here and there, most of which could be fixed with another round of edits and proofreads, so no big there, but you did have a few awkward twisting sentences here and there that lost themselves in the mix and hurt the flow and rhythm of the story. The characters and plot were so well done though that you didn't lose me as a reader.
I am excited to dive into the next arc, but sleep is calling so it will wait for another day. So so far excellent first arc and I expect more quality to come based on what I have read. -M
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Post by jackalope on Feb 27, 2012 18:40:25 GMT -5
I really liked #6, look forward to seeing more cameos. I love seeing the team building, especially the whole sit around a table and talk about candidates, type thing. Seeing the interaction with General Eiling was good, liked how Sand diffused the tense show-down. Superman's cameo was mint- you depicted him well.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2012 23:53:31 GMT -5
Re: JSA#6
Very good issue. It was a nice change of pace after the frantic conclusion of Legacy, and it felt in many ways like a calm before the storm.
It had a strong focus on character work and development, which is really a strength of your writing. You again made me feel like I knew what was going on with established characters I had not yet encountered in their own series (Babs & Supes), and had some great interplay with your core cast.
You had plenty of conflict without resorting to super-heroic action, riveting up the tension and the interpersonal stuff, but made it feel like it was still building towards something bigger.
Overall, I really like this series and an excited to see where it goes. It has strong characters and strong plotting, and feels it has an overall direction, so each piece feels like part of a bigger whole, and accomplishes a lot of world-building with this nascent Ultimate DC Universe being built.
-M
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Post by superecwfan1 on Feb 28, 2012 10:15:31 GMT -5
I enjoyed #6 for the fact its a nice thing to examine the characters and team slowly forming for real. I loved that Jack stood up to the General there and saved Artemitis . I also loved seeing Tyler's cousin wanna join too. The scenes with Superman was nice at the end. I really like the scene with Jack Knight meeting Superman.
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Post by C_Miller on Mar 4, 2012 4:34:12 GMT -5
Hello All, #6 is up!
Unfortunately it got overly long, so I had to cut pretty much all the cameos. I still referenced a couple in there, but I couldn't be sentimental with who I kept. Plus, I think this allows a better picture of the JSA as a whole. Since everyone (except Blue Beetle) joined the team.
I decided to put wachter as a co-writer on this issue. The first scene was edited pretty heavily by him and he completely wrote the scene between Jessie and Blue Beetle.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2012 22:28:57 GMT -5
Ok so channeling my inner Keith Moon, looking at this band objectively from the outside, they look like they would fly as well as a lead zeppelin, but like the subject of that famous comment, this band rocks.
I love the team you have assembled and cannot wait to see them in action next issue.
Some great character moments throughout, especially Jessie, Jack, and Michael Holt. There is a lot of inner turmoil on this team that will drive the character arcs in the future, your challenge will be to keep the external conflicts ratcheted up enough to balance that inner turmoil.
Great issue, and I look forward to seeing where things go next issue.
-M
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Post by C_Miller on Mar 5, 2012 23:22:35 GMT -5
Well, I hate to tell you, next issue is going to be another quiet issue, just because I needed to get a lot of stuff out there before my x-over with Checkmate and then it's pretty much action from here on out.
Thanks for the review though.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Mar 5, 2012 23:54:54 GMT -5
I think the scenes with Jessie were the best.
>_>
*runs out of the topic*
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2012 0:14:49 GMT -5
Well, I hate to tell you, next issue is going to be another quiet issue, just because I needed to get a lot of stuff out there before my x-over with Checkmate and then it's pretty much action from here on out. Thanks for the review though. Well damn, I was all ready to see you turn Baltimore into the new Tokyo and was all set to cue up some Godzilla by Blue Oyster Cult as my reading soundtrack. Way to ruin my night Miller -M ;D
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Mar 6, 2012 0:19:03 GMT -5
Wait till you reach a certain point in Spoilers. There's actually a bit of backstory to Jack and Jade's convo that Chris inserted in for the funny factor.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2012 2:04:44 GMT -5
Wait till you reach a certain point in Spoilers. There's actually a bit of backstory to Jack and Jade's convo that Chris inserted in for the funny factor. Do you mean the scene in US#3 where Jade is talking to Babs while fighting a monster in Japan? -M
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Mar 6, 2012 2:12:30 GMT -5
GIANT monsters. The giant part is very important. Any place can have a monster rampage but Japan gets credit for the most Giant Monsters in existence since the days of ancient Greece.
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Post by buck on Mar 11, 2012 2:39:21 GMT -5
Really enjoyed the issue. Your character interactions are always well done. Can'olt and Mcnider develop.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Mar 15, 2012 23:21:24 GMT -5
This was really well done . I like character detailing stuff more than just wild fighting scenes. A good team book needs inner struggle and a team that has conflicts in and out. So I like the cast of characters and who you recruited for the team. Jade has always been a favorite of mine.
Also I wouldn't have mind if you used Hawkman. You could have wrote him in there man and all if you wanted for this. If ya wanna use him for anything just ask and all.
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Post by jackalope on Mar 28, 2012 7:21:46 GMT -5
Great work man, The scene with Jessie was great, and it's awesome to see Holt turn up- can't wait to see him in action. I love all the cameo's and crossovers people are working in. I've only read bits and pieces of JSA so I'll be interested on seeing your take on them. Let's roll!
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