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Post by Stardrifter on Jan 2, 2013 22:08:54 GMT -5
You continue to do your pacing well, this issue flowed very naturally. I have to admit that I don't like the focus on Jade and Obsidian so soon when you could be fleshing out the GLs we know, but maybe that's just me. I will say that some of the dialogue exposition was silly. Obsidian's speech to the thieves about his powers was really out of place. Same with Mongul's exposition dump for the two at the end. If this were a show/movie I'd want to hang a giant sign around their necks that said, "I'm Only Telling You This For The Audience's Benefit." Minor gripes though. Keep em coming.
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Post by buck on Jan 11, 2013 4:47:02 GMT -5
I agree with Star it feels like we're getting your whole cast dumped on us all at once. Still a lot to learn about the four main GLs and the guardians. Nonetheless looking forward to your next issue.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Jan 11, 2013 22:30:43 GMT -5
Issue 6 done
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Post by Drake on Jan 12, 2013 14:16:05 GMT -5
Good issue, but there were some prevalent grammar errors. One in particular threw me off again and again. In a sentence with quotation around it, both periods and commas ALWAYS go inside the quote. e.g. "My name is Bob," Bob said, "I enjoy action movies."
Other than the grammar errors, it was a good issue. You're juggling an interesting cast, and successfully giving them different voices. 7.75/10, Just short of greatness.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Jan 12, 2013 15:06:25 GMT -5
I've always been taught to do it the way I do, and from googling it looks to be that it's a rule difference between American-English and English.
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Post by Drake on Jan 12, 2013 16:08:46 GMT -5
Ok then, my bad. It's just the way I was taught. I honestly had no clue the reverse was okay in different forms of English.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jan 12, 2013 20:14:52 GMT -5
A good issue. I enjoyed the detail and history of Warworld.
I do have one major complaint. The scene with Alan meeting Jade and Obsidian rang as very untrue. There should have been so much emotion and drama there. Here's a man who suddenly finds out he has two adult children and he's just kind of, "Whelp, I suppose so." And the kids have just met the man who fathered them and it's just kind of commonplace. It just felt lime a wasted opportunity.
Otherwise, good issue. Keep em coming.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Jan 14, 2013 16:51:45 GMT -5
Good issue, but there were some prevalent grammar errors. One in particular threw me off again and again. In a sentence with quotation around it, both periods and commas ALWAYS go inside the quote. e.g. "My name is Bob," Bob said, "I enjoy action movies." The English major who's proofread the first two issues of UWW says otherwise. Since it's two sentences, it would be "My name is Bob," Bob said. "I enjoy action movies." An alternative could be "My name is Bob," Bob said, "and I enjoy action movies." since that's all one sentence. I was surprised about that too.
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Post by buck on Jan 28, 2013 20:04:48 GMT -5
the issue was pretty enjoyable.
I had an issue with the gladiator scene it was just too short. The creature they fight was described but it was more high concept then vivid. Just could've used a bit more detail on creatures and the verall scene could have been enriched with more environment.
Solid issue that missed in a few spots.
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Post by Ultimate Silentking on Feb 20, 2013 19:58:17 GMT -5
Caught up now. It was enjoyable enough though it has its flaws as pointed out. 7.5/10 overall.
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Post by Ultimate Silentking on Feb 23, 2013 17:42:54 GMT -5
I am sure others will point out flaws that I have not noticed, but I really enjoyed this issue. Everything about it was great. I although I have to say that if it weren't for the fact that I already knew who Lobo was, I would not have been nearly as impressed of his entrance. Seriously, the minute you mentioned a motorcycle, all of the tension I was holding instantly went away. When Mongul stated that this was Lobo was when I was blown away. Although that is not your fault since Lobo is usually shown riding a motorcycle wherever he goes. I just forgot enough for that inclusion to ruin the moment. You also did very well with opener, definitely brought me in. I also enjoyed the scene where Lobo interacts with Alan Scott and others. All in all, the entire issue was great and I give it an 8.5/10.
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Post by Drake on Feb 23, 2013 18:30:22 GMT -5
Pretty good issue. Some grammar errors here and there. I'm not sure how I feel about Lobo...the whole Liefeld-ian description was either funny or...weird, stupid? I'm not sure. I seriously have mixed emotions. Maybe that's because I love Lobo to be the biggest BA in the galaxy but when I imagine him drawn by Liefeld it just makes me want to throw up. Whatever. Good issue. Not great, but definitely good. 7.5/10. I think I prefer Constantine.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Feb 23, 2013 18:33:57 GMT -5
Well Lobo was re-imagined by Giffen as a parody of the Liefeld style characters, so that's what I aimed for.
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Post by Stardrifter on Feb 23, 2013 20:52:34 GMT -5
Yeah I didn't like the portrayal of Lobo at all. The whole 90s era joke was a bit much and just took any realism or seriousness you had going out of the story. Otherwise it was an okay issue, moving the story forward. Interesting way to start out with Parallax. But the Lobo thing...just no.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Feb 25, 2013 13:32:01 GMT -5
Good introduction for Lobo and an intriguing foreshadowing with Parallax. I will say that if I didn't know who Lobo and Parallax were already the two elements probably would have bored me, but that's fine since you're dealing with an audience that likely already knows them.
I do think that the interaction between Alan Scott and his kids seems a little emotionally detached for what should be a big deal to all of them, and Lobo's dialogue comes off a bit more annoying than badass, but overall a good issue.
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Post by buck on Mar 1, 2013 3:57:11 GMT -5
I liked the Liefield Lobo we got and the nice little interaction with Mongul pointing out the pouches was a riot. Glad that you could inject a little humor into the issue and avoid taking yourself too seriously.
Other then that it was an enjoyable issue altogether and I look forward to March's issue.
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Mar 12, 2013 0:36:00 GMT -5
Finished the first arc and as usual... I'm behind in comments so everyone has beat me to it. I'll just let personal opinion weigh in.
Issue 3 was a chore. One of those chores where you're asked to clean the gutters and it takes you months to do so. It wasn't bad necessarily... It was just exceedingly long to the point any suspense was killed by exposition or because you added more. The Henshaw scene was particularly lackluster. On the other hand, I think you succeeded in getting St. Walker's voice down. Very rarely do I hear a character's voice but you made me hear his from GL: TAS.
Issue 4 fixed a lot of your issues with the last one though you do still suffer from over explanation. I for one found the climax appropriately fitting. This is a giant space opera. Sometimes, all it takes in one guy, just talking to get the big bad to see reason.
I do love the Guardian scenes. LOVE THEM. I want to hug and squeeze those ones.
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Post by C_Miller on Mar 12, 2013 13:10:53 GMT -5
I'm finally caught up. I really enjoy what you're doing in terms of story, but I do think in a lot of ways your scope is too big. The reason Geoff Johns was able to do all the focus on the multi-colored Corps is because Hal Jordan and other characters had been established, Hal first appearing in 1959. While I do have an idea of who Hal is through the original comics, I don't have the same idea of who Hal is through your work.
I think what this title needs is a nice quiet issue. Maybe take Hal back to Earth soon and have him fight a threat there. Bookend it with a date with Carol or something to that effect. But right now, I think you need to do some work with your main character.
Don't get me wrong, I actually really enjoy this title and I think it has a lot of potential. I love seeing Obsidian and Jade around (I can't wait to start writing them in Infinity Inc.) and I love the big scope that you have set forth. And I must say I'm loving this unified take on the Green Lanterns that involves Alan Scott, Jade and others. Star did a little bit with it, but he was gone before it really took off.
I really look forward to more.
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Post by liquidsword34 on Mar 26, 2013 21:48:45 GMT -5
#8 is up
This took a while because writing Jade, Alan and Obsidian interacting was difficult. I'm still not entirely satisfied with those scenes, really. I also think I could've done with thinking out how things are structured more in terms of which characters are focused on and such before the arc started, which I've put some more thought into at this point, so hopefully there will be improvement.
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Post by C_Miller on Mar 28, 2013 13:09:38 GMT -5
It's tough. The whole situation is something that you really can't wrap your head around until you've been through it and even then it's different for everyone. But, I thought it was fine. It certainly didn't stick out as especially bad, so I wouldn't worry about it.
I liked the issue. To me, it felt pretty well plotted. All of the scenes seemed to work for the end goal of the issue. There was never a time where I was wishing for a change of scene or a shift of focus and no scene really left me wanting for more.
I'm excited to see where this goes. I hope that you do more with Hal, since I guess in my head he's the main character, but I feel like I don't know him. That might be my personal preference though.
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