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Post by superecwfan1 on Jun 25, 2011 23:36:12 GMT -5
Well Anton isn't a physical match for Hawkman. He basically used the cloak as his main weapon . But once Carter got by a mirror he could see where he was gonna be. Its a sneaky win I guess for Hawkman this round. I can't wait til later this year for the Hawks plot.
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Post by buck on Jun 26, 2011 2:19:47 GMT -5
I can't wait for the next ark. Sounds like an ingenious use of the past lives of Carter Hall.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Jul 18, 2011 18:08:53 GMT -5
I finally got around to posting Hawkman #5 "A Hawk in Camelot" which is a fun look back at one of the past lives that Carter had. I really enjoyed this one. Plus theres a special appearance of someone special as well.
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Post by jackalope on Jul 18, 2011 19:37:57 GMT -5
Liked it, it's a nice set up to be able to do different genre stories in different periods. Look forward to seeing how you work in Jason Blood, good idea.
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Post by buck on Jul 18, 2011 19:49:35 GMT -5
I enjoyed it. Just wish it was longer
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Post by The Wonderful Wachter on Jul 20, 2011 19:33:21 GMT -5
Fun to see a change in scenery and I like the reason for it as more than just "Oh I remember now." It's cool he's actually telling his therapist. BUT. I didn't really enjoy the issue too much. Sorry. Felt it had a weaker start than your first arc. Almost rushed.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jul 31, 2011 11:36:56 GMT -5
Was good. Needed some proofreading. I'm glad Carter was just a knight and not King Arthur himself. Shows that he doesn't always have to be top dog in his past lives.
Keep 'em coming.
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Post by buck on Aug 10, 2011 0:48:50 GMT -5
Still really enjoying this and have to say I enjoy your take on it and can't wait to see Ultimate H.I.V.E
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Post by jackalope on Aug 10, 2011 2:00:10 GMT -5
Found the grammar a little off and the father-daughter relationship a bit weird, "...you won't be restless at night...anymore." Ok dad, thanks for those last words. But honestly, good work. You're creating a solid character and look as if you've got some really interesting stuff planned.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Aug 10, 2011 7:22:19 GMT -5
The relationship was weird for the fact her father was basically letting his daughter be in charge. She was taking care of him and knew she wasn't sleeping much at the end (which he brought up earlier in the ride) and she was effected by this Knight. But thanks for reading and all. I really enjoyed this piece a lot. The next arc will be the 1st big arc for Hawkman and who he faces there.
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Post by Stardrifter on Aug 11, 2011 20:27:18 GMT -5
The story wasn't bad, but you REALLY need to proofread. There were a number of grammar and tense errors. Really distracted me from the story. Was a nice sidestory though. I can see a lot of potential for little flashback stories from time to time to flesh out his history.
Keep 'em coming.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Aug 11, 2011 23:39:55 GMT -5
To solve my grammar issues and all , I may end up getting an editor. I think it would work best. The prior site had one. So if anyone wants to be my editor , I'll send ya the story , copy and and paste it after corrections. That way it won't read as bad. Because I want everyone to be able to enjoy the stories and not be like "WTF is he meaning here ?" lol.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Aug 30, 2011 21:38:16 GMT -5
Hawkman #7 , the 1st part of the H.I.V.E arc has begun. The arc will see the debut of someone in the Ultimate DCU . Its gonna be a tad bit different by #8 , so let the discussion begin on how it will play out.
Also its my 1st with en editor who gets line credit in it. I did remove 3 words in this Buck. Hope ya don't get mad with it. And I hope ya like how I arranged it all to fit my story from the parts I sent you.
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Post by jackalope on Aug 31, 2011 2:03:08 GMT -5
Good work. Have to love a good old fashioned secret terrorist cell. Really like the freaky-ass Queen idea, and yay Ray Palmer! Look forward to seeing more.
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Post by Stardrifter on Sept 2, 2011 13:57:57 GMT -5
The story is good. Interesting setup. I do hope Carter getting hypnotized doesn't get overused.
I don't mean to be a jerk but I'm gonna point out that even with you and an editor, you still had punctuation and grammar errors. Such as your/you're and others. Something to look out for.
Keep em coming.
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Post by thekillingjoke on Sept 2, 2011 15:26:20 GMT -5
My thoughts:
1. This issue is a lot easier for me to read.
2. Spaces between punctuation marks seemed odd, but the issue was readable regardless.
3. Grammar and spelling are still an issue. Where was Buck's editing on this?
4. Take it easy on the ellipses.
5. Don't be afraid to take big chances and throw us curve balls.
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Post by buck on Sept 3, 2011 1:50:34 GMT -5
I'll spend more time looking at grammar in future issues. My main focus was in eliminating and fixing some awkward phrasing. I felt that was the thing that I noticed most in my read through.
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Post by thekillingjoke on Sept 3, 2011 8:46:41 GMT -5
Well it's not really your responsibility to find every little grammar error. Superecwfan really needs to take some time to learn about grammar conventions. You have to know about the conventions before you can break them.
I recommend Elements of Style by Strunk, Jr. and White as good a place as any to start.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Sept 7, 2011 21:39:45 GMT -5
I'll spend more time looking at grammar in future issues. My main focus was in eliminating and fixing some awkward phrasing. I felt that was the thing that I noticed most in my read through. Well I usually before this issue Buck , i would do spell check here and use online dictionary for bigger words I thought would fuck up on . I should have done it and not left it all on you to do really for 7. I wasn't thinking in and all. So next time I'll hand you the spell checked work to make it easier. Then let you do whatever work you want to do to it man. Sorry about that. Because with me , I'm not trying to break the rules as posted. Because really , it doesn't help anyone if we do it if no one can get through reading what we posted here.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Sept 16, 2011 16:19:59 GMT -5
Ok ...#8 is up and I think its a hell of a lot better now . I also can't wait til people meet the Ultimate version of Ray Palmer.
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