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Post by buck on May 6, 2012 23:12:37 GMT -5
I just felt for his power levels to be going against the pure power of Kalibak he should've been carried from the battlefield.
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Post by liquidsword34 on May 7, 2012 16:23:59 GMT -5
There were a few grammar errors. Namely, when you use a comma you often put a space on both sides.
"Hello , is anyone in here" for example, should be "Hello, is anyone in here"
There were also a few word placement issues like "She sit him down by some older people" instead of "She sat him down by some older people" and "Carter has went insane" instead of "Carter has gone insane".
You also used your instead of you're in some situations.
An editor/proof reader would help improve your work a lot in my opinion.
I liked the arc overall, but preferred the previous ones you've written.
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Post by superecwfan1 on May 8, 2012 3:18:52 GMT -5
I just felt for his power levels to be going against the pure power of Kalibak he should've been carried from the battlefield. Well he did get carried by Shiera to try and heal by the Nth metal after she saved him there. He needed minutes to heal himself there and think. Because a lot of what he was doing was trying to be physical and go right at Kalibak and was losing lol.
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Post by superecwfan1 on May 8, 2012 3:21:37 GMT -5
There were a few grammar errors. Namely, when you use a comma you often put a space on both sides. "Hello , is anyone in here" for example, should be "Hello, is anyone in here" There were also a few word placement issues like "She sit him down by some older people" instead of "She sat him down by some older people" and "Carter has went insane" instead of "Carter has gone insane". You also used your instead of you're in some situations. An editor/proof reader would help improve your work a lot in my opinion. I liked the arc overall, but preferred the previous ones you've written. Wachter is gonna start editing for me in June. Buck got really busy with his work and all , so he couldn't be able to edit for me anytime soon. I had to do the best I could with it til then. I admit I am not ever gonna be the best grammar wise here. I will likely drive Wacter insane with what I send him . But I will try my best with it. I actually like my big mega arc coming. It will be one I really can't wait to do this fall/winter.
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Post by Stardrifter on May 13, 2012 19:16:27 GMT -5
Was a decent issue. You already addressed the errors. I agree it went in kind of a whimper. Kalibak went down like a chump. And to be honest...what was the point? Why send Kalibak to smash up a city and retreat? It can't have been reconnaissance, or why send Kalibak? To test Earth's strength? Smashing up one city isn't a good judge. All he did in the end was warn the people of Earth and give them time to plan for the war he told them was coming.
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Post by superecwfan1 on May 25, 2012 19:13:05 GMT -5
I wanted him to be more or less a warning to the heroes of Earth in a way. That this bigger threat was coming. If Kalibak can destroy half a city with ease , imagine what awaits the heroes when someone is gonna really try lol.
I also posted back , I didn't wanna spoil anything for Buck's arc that is coming in JLA. So I kept a lot of the motivation for sending Kalibak to Earth a mystery and all.
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Post by superecwfan1 on Jun 28, 2012 17:34:20 GMT -5
Hawkman #19 is up and this one is a departure of the recent serious , battle issues that has been running the past 2 arcs. So enjoy a light hearted moment . The next 2-3 months will be special light moments before the next arc begins.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 30, 2012 14:30:05 GMT -5
As always the plot was well done. The writing itself was iffy. A lot of grammatical errors and some clunky dialogue. Was nice seeing more continuity. And that st. roche is still very broken. Keep em coming.
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